A short time ago, I came across a discussion amongst my friends who were avid writers. There was this author who took it upon herself to become a self-proclaimed advocate on behalf of the subjects she wrote about. Her justification for her decision was based on her own assessment that her subjects were "too oppressed weakened and devastated to vocalize their pain." While I commend her for her noble efforts, I found the reasoning to be a bit disturbing.
When my friend Bruce Reyes-Chow used to pastor Mission Bay Church, he'd consistently close with the benediction saying: "give voice to the silent..." My interpretation of that statement was a way to create an environment and empower those who are normally silent to be able to speak up for themselves.
Coming from the San Francisco Bay Area, there are a lot of interactions taking place which requires a need for a translator. If you were to speak or ask the person who's in need of a translator, they would rather learn the local language and not to place a burden on the need translating. Go to any English as a second language class and see the room filled. These new immigrants are so enthusiastic to learn our language so they can communicate on their own behalf. They're very aware that that is the price asked of them to pay in order to start a life here.
Yet, this author is speaking for a group of people because of their "inherent weaknesses." My question to this particular author would be what was the assessment procedure that she took in order to declare their apparent "muteness," or inability to express themselves? What would happen if one of the members of that group learned to speak for themselves and told her to "shut the f*ck up?"
Most importantly:
Do we have a right to determine who is capable or incapable to give a voice to themselves?
I'll agree with this author that her subjects were placed under very inhumane conditions. Very atrocious against humanity. However her conclusion of them due to their plight relegates them to additional victim-hood. The author speaks on behalf a a group of people victimized by inhumane conditions, not allowing them the voice nor the CHOICE to relinquish victim-hood. She said and published for them drawing a conclusion they may or may not attest to about themselves.
Speaking for someone else with your own assessment and conclusions does by no means, "give a voice to the silent."
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Personal Development/Wealth Books and Programs
Yes I know back in April I compiled a list of books HERE.
I also commented that this list would be added on in due time on a regular basis since I left out something and/or I read something new to add. However, I'm adding a whole new dimension to the whole book reading by including home-study programs and seminars.
Dr Barbara King-Transform Your Life-Some years back in my early 20s, I just began going to church on a regular basis, and was persuaded to leave behind the personal development seminar lifestyle. I prayed for something to bridge those two experiences together and at a 24-hour newsstand, this book literally fell into my lap. She includes a lot of Biblical allegories and how to apply it to everyday living.
Eric Butterworth-Discover The Power Within You-One of the main Unity pastors based in New York written this during the beginning of the counter-culture self-discovery movement. A timeless piece that still resonates even though he makes reference to the current social setting some 40+ years back. If I didn't know better, I'd say this book influenced what Dr Barbara wrote. I wouldn't because I'm more convinced the following authors influenced BOTH writers:
Emmet Fox, Charles Fillmore, Florence Scovel Shinn, H Emile Cady, Joseph Murphy-I did not specify any titles because I found the books I've read from them to be extremely valuable. In fact, they influenced me into attending Unity Church now on a regular basis. Just remember to have a Bible handy when reading from any of those authors.
Mike Dooley has a trio of home-study courses that eventually became published books. I'd recommend paying more for the home study courses rather than reading the books. Leveraging the Universe, Infinite Possibilities and Manifesting Change are all excellent programs.
The Silva Method-Silva Life System is the foundation of all foundation to active meditation and visualizing. Ask any contemporary self-development author and energy healers, they'll tell you they got where they are as a result of learning this method. Any personal development program and/or seminar which incorporates any form of meditation, relaxation, or visualization exercises has its roots to the research of the Late Dr Jose Silva.
Eventually with affiliates programs and all, I will be openly endorsing the above products on a future website.
I also commented that this list would be added on in due time on a regular basis since I left out something and/or I read something new to add. However, I'm adding a whole new dimension to the whole book reading by including home-study programs and seminars.
Dr Barbara King-Transform Your Life-Some years back in my early 20s, I just began going to church on a regular basis, and was persuaded to leave behind the personal development seminar lifestyle. I prayed for something to bridge those two experiences together and at a 24-hour newsstand, this book literally fell into my lap. She includes a lot of Biblical allegories and how to apply it to everyday living.
Eric Butterworth-Discover The Power Within You-One of the main Unity pastors based in New York written this during the beginning of the counter-culture self-discovery movement. A timeless piece that still resonates even though he makes reference to the current social setting some 40+ years back. If I didn't know better, I'd say this book influenced what Dr Barbara wrote. I wouldn't because I'm more convinced the following authors influenced BOTH writers:
Emmet Fox, Charles Fillmore, Florence Scovel Shinn, H Emile Cady, Joseph Murphy-I did not specify any titles because I found the books I've read from them to be extremely valuable. In fact, they influenced me into attending Unity Church now on a regular basis. Just remember to have a Bible handy when reading from any of those authors.
Mike Dooley has a trio of home-study courses that eventually became published books. I'd recommend paying more for the home study courses rather than reading the books. Leveraging the Universe, Infinite Possibilities and Manifesting Change are all excellent programs.
The Silva Method-Silva Life System is the foundation of all foundation to active meditation and visualizing. Ask any contemporary self-development author and energy healers, they'll tell you they got where they are as a result of learning this method. Any personal development program and/or seminar which incorporates any form of meditation, relaxation, or visualization exercises has its roots to the research of the Late Dr Jose Silva.
Eventually with affiliates programs and all, I will be openly endorsing the above products on a future website.
Monday, July 11, 2011
After The Fact Manifestation
So apparently, I have manifested items and situations I've set myself up for. It's just that I didn't realize that it happened until AFTER the fact. I can see that it pays off to journal and blog to review what's been declared and set.
When I made my commitment to The Salvation Army at the end of 1995, I decided to "rely more on God" and less on my personal development self. I initially thought it was the right thing to do, plus I was under the impression that it was spiritual and godly to voluntarily "deny myself." I was miserable to be honest. I placed all of my notebooks from my seminars in storage thinking it would never pop back up again. After all, God is SUPPOSED to be my provider.
When my mom passed away in 2005 and I was clearing out her house, I came across those notebooks. Written down in 1994 was a goal that I set for myself:
To be in Hong Kong before July 1, 1997
Meet my biological mother
Drive to an Oakland Raiders game
For those who travel on a regular basis, it's not such a big deal. However when I wrote that goal back in 1994, I never traveled further than Honolulu. I also didn't know what a passport was or why it was needed to travel. Plus I grew up in a family that the family would "SOMEDAY" travel to Asia including China, Hong Kong, Taiwan. Until then, save money so the family could travel together. My parents has been on a fixed income since 1984. They had already given up on the prospect of traveling to Asia. I set the goal of being there before July 1, 1997 because that was the date Britain was supposed to return the Colony back to China. I wanted to experience Hong Kong during British rule. On June 15, 1997 I arrived at the Hong Kong International Kai Tak Airport. Who would've known that I would actually be in Hong Kong during the actual Handover? Beyond my expectation.
Bear in mind, I forgot about the written goals as I had boxed up the notebooks somewhere in 95-96. It wasn't until I moved my personal belongings out of my mother's home in 2005 that I had access to the notebooks. In fact I believe I took the notebooks out in 2007 when I got in contact with one of my past mentors. He asked if I was interested in attending one of his courses. After getting in contact, I went into the boxes and opened the notebook. When I saw what I wrote in 94, I immediately signed up for the course we discussed earlier. (I had initially declined)
When I wrote what I wrote about meeting my biological mother in 1994, I had no idea how that was going to come about. For anyone familiar with adoption laws and legality, one is not able to simply walk into an agency responsible for coordinating an adoption process and receive contact information to the birth parents. I had been in search for my biological parents as early as 1989, and had hit every legal and/or financial dead end. If there was a way to get around the legal system, then the financial demand to do so became an obstacle. The process from 89 to 94 was a frustrating process. Who would've known that when I wrote the goal down in 1994, the process would suddenly speed up. On February 21, 1995, I met my birth mother for the "2nd" time? The end result of the encounter did not turn out is a more connected manner, however I was able to get answers that I waited for my entire life.
The Raiders were supposed to move and return to the City of Oakland from Los Angeles back in 1990. However due to legal ramification and resistance among the community, the deal ended up with the Raiders announcing that they were to remain in Los Angeles. The funny part was, I was very sarcastic when I wrote that goal down. At that time, I did not think, let alone believe that the possibility of driving to an Oakland Raiders game was feasible. In 1993, I had already packed and disposed all of my "Return to Oakland" Raiders' shirts among other Raiders items. Six years after 1994, I'm watching my OAKLAND Raiders play in the AFC Championship game at Oakland. Unfortunately they lost to the Baltimore Ravens.
Once again as I was clearing out my apartment recently, I realized I had manifested again. Yes it was a five year process for it to happen.
Since 2002, I was driving a 1998 Silver Honda Civic EX. I contemplated getting a Toyota Matrix in 2004, but I was a loyal fan of Hondas. When looking at prospective cars, my mantra was, "If there was a Honda 4-door version of a Matrix and/or a 4 door hatchback, that's my new car!" Only a 2-door hatchback were available at that time.
In November 2005, I decided to visit Singapore for the first time. Since my family was no longer intact following the recent death of my mother (adoptive) I had no plans for Thanksgiving. While I was there I headed back to my hotel, and parked in front was a Honda Jazz. It was a 4-door compact hatchback made by Honda. I was excited that I began to take photos of the car until I was greeted by the owner. He was puzzled as to why I was intrigued enough to be taking photos of his car. I explained to him that I was from the States and that there was no such model available. He was then generous enough to open the car and allowed me to sit inside the car. He opened the driver's side to let me sit, but because the drivers side is opposite than the driver's side in the States, I requested to sit on the passenger's side which puzzled the owner even more.
In 2007, Honda USA announced the release of a new model called the Honda Fit. That same year, it was announced elsewhere that the Honda Jazz would be named the Honda Fit. When I purchased a new car in 2008, I went in an opposite direction. I had taken the PSI Basic Seminar and decided I wanted to get a new European made car. I purchased a VW Rabbit, 4-door hatchback. Though I stayed true to my idea of the 4-door hatchback, that marriage to VW became strained and eventually I traded the car in 2010 for a Honda Fit. At that point, I had completely forgotten all about my "Honda mantra" some six years prior.
It was a few months ago when I reviewed the photos I taken during my first of many trips to Singapore. I was initially puzzled (like the Jazz owner) when I saw the photos taken in the dark. Luckily the photo processing plant gave me a CD of the photos taken. (Those were the last series of photos taken with a film camera) I downloaded the photos from the CD, color corrected the photos with a photo editor and discovered photos of a BLACK Honda Jazz. My jaws dropped in awe. For almost a year, I had been driving around in my BLACK Honda Fit. I didn't know that I was following Mike Dooley's advice on The Secret, but in essence, I was when I sat in the passenger side of the Honda Jazz that fateful November 2005 night. Remember, The Secret was actually released in 2006, so there was no way I had access to the advice.
So now next on the manifesting agenda are houses/homes. (YES, plural!!!) I look forward to being blown away again like the way I've been when I review old written goals or old photos.
When I made my commitment to The Salvation Army at the end of 1995, I decided to "rely more on God" and less on my personal development self. I initially thought it was the right thing to do, plus I was under the impression that it was spiritual and godly to voluntarily "deny myself." I was miserable to be honest. I placed all of my notebooks from my seminars in storage thinking it would never pop back up again. After all, God is SUPPOSED to be my provider.
When my mom passed away in 2005 and I was clearing out her house, I came across those notebooks. Written down in 1994 was a goal that I set for myself:
To be in Hong Kong before July 1, 1997
Meet my biological mother
Drive to an Oakland Raiders game
For those who travel on a regular basis, it's not such a big deal. However when I wrote that goal back in 1994, I never traveled further than Honolulu. I also didn't know what a passport was or why it was needed to travel. Plus I grew up in a family that the family would "SOMEDAY" travel to Asia including China, Hong Kong, Taiwan. Until then, save money so the family could travel together. My parents has been on a fixed income since 1984. They had already given up on the prospect of traveling to Asia. I set the goal of being there before July 1, 1997 because that was the date Britain was supposed to return the Colony back to China. I wanted to experience Hong Kong during British rule. On June 15, 1997 I arrived at the Hong Kong International Kai Tak Airport. Who would've known that I would actually be in Hong Kong during the actual Handover? Beyond my expectation.
Bear in mind, I forgot about the written goals as I had boxed up the notebooks somewhere in 95-96. It wasn't until I moved my personal belongings out of my mother's home in 2005 that I had access to the notebooks. In fact I believe I took the notebooks out in 2007 when I got in contact with one of my past mentors. He asked if I was interested in attending one of his courses. After getting in contact, I went into the boxes and opened the notebook. When I saw what I wrote in 94, I immediately signed up for the course we discussed earlier. (I had initially declined)
When I wrote what I wrote about meeting my biological mother in 1994, I had no idea how that was going to come about. For anyone familiar with adoption laws and legality, one is not able to simply walk into an agency responsible for coordinating an adoption process and receive contact information to the birth parents. I had been in search for my biological parents as early as 1989, and had hit every legal and/or financial dead end. If there was a way to get around the legal system, then the financial demand to do so became an obstacle. The process from 89 to 94 was a frustrating process. Who would've known that when I wrote the goal down in 1994, the process would suddenly speed up. On February 21, 1995, I met my birth mother for the "2nd" time? The end result of the encounter did not turn out is a more connected manner, however I was able to get answers that I waited for my entire life.
The Raiders were supposed to move and return to the City of Oakland from Los Angeles back in 1990. However due to legal ramification and resistance among the community, the deal ended up with the Raiders announcing that they were to remain in Los Angeles. The funny part was, I was very sarcastic when I wrote that goal down. At that time, I did not think, let alone believe that the possibility of driving to an Oakland Raiders game was feasible. In 1993, I had already packed and disposed all of my "Return to Oakland" Raiders' shirts among other Raiders items. Six years after 1994, I'm watching my OAKLAND Raiders play in the AFC Championship game at Oakland. Unfortunately they lost to the Baltimore Ravens.
Once again as I was clearing out my apartment recently, I realized I had manifested again. Yes it was a five year process for it to happen.
Since 2002, I was driving a 1998 Silver Honda Civic EX. I contemplated getting a Toyota Matrix in 2004, but I was a loyal fan of Hondas. When looking at prospective cars, my mantra was, "If there was a Honda 4-door version of a Matrix and/or a 4 door hatchback, that's my new car!" Only a 2-door hatchback were available at that time.
In November 2005, I decided to visit Singapore for the first time. Since my family was no longer intact following the recent death of my mother (adoptive) I had no plans for Thanksgiving. While I was there I headed back to my hotel, and parked in front was a Honda Jazz. It was a 4-door compact hatchback made by Honda. I was excited that I began to take photos of the car until I was greeted by the owner. He was puzzled as to why I was intrigued enough to be taking photos of his car. I explained to him that I was from the States and that there was no such model available. He was then generous enough to open the car and allowed me to sit inside the car. He opened the driver's side to let me sit, but because the drivers side is opposite than the driver's side in the States, I requested to sit on the passenger's side which puzzled the owner even more.
In 2007, Honda USA announced the release of a new model called the Honda Fit. That same year, it was announced elsewhere that the Honda Jazz would be named the Honda Fit. When I purchased a new car in 2008, I went in an opposite direction. I had taken the PSI Basic Seminar and decided I wanted to get a new European made car. I purchased a VW Rabbit, 4-door hatchback. Though I stayed true to my idea of the 4-door hatchback, that marriage to VW became strained and eventually I traded the car in 2010 for a Honda Fit. At that point, I had completely forgotten all about my "Honda mantra" some six years prior.
It was a few months ago when I reviewed the photos I taken during my first of many trips to Singapore. I was initially puzzled (like the Jazz owner) when I saw the photos taken in the dark. Luckily the photo processing plant gave me a CD of the photos taken. (Those were the last series of photos taken with a film camera) I downloaded the photos from the CD, color corrected the photos with a photo editor and discovered photos of a BLACK Honda Jazz. My jaws dropped in awe. For almost a year, I had been driving around in my BLACK Honda Fit. I didn't know that I was following Mike Dooley's advice on The Secret, but in essence, I was when I sat in the passenger side of the Honda Jazz that fateful November 2005 night. Remember, The Secret was actually released in 2006, so there was no way I had access to the advice.
So now next on the manifesting agenda are houses/homes. (YES, plural!!!) I look forward to being blown away again like the way I've been when I review old written goals or old photos.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Eduardo Machado Keynote Address June 5, 2006
Five years ago, I was forwarded this transcript via email in regards to the state of the theater. Just for the record, I never considered myself as an "Asian American" anything: actor, writer, performer. This was the label that was placed upon me over the years during my pursuit as an inspirational performer. Granted, I received my undergraduate degree (BA) in Ethnic Studies from Cal State Hayward, however I took the courses with an understanding of creating dialogue and solutions to drop such labels.
The 2006 Laura Pels Foundation Keynote Address was delivered by Eduardo Machado on June 5 at the American Airlines Theater as part of Curtain Call, the Allaince of Resident Theatres/New York's annual celebration of Off Broadway. Eduardo Machado is the Artistic Director of INTAR Theatre and Head of Playwriting at Columbia University. He is the author of more than 40 plays including Kissing Fidel, The Cook, Havana is Waiting and The Floating Island Plays. Mr. Machado was introduced by Pulitzer Prize-winning critic Margo Jefferson.
Mr. Machado's remarks:
Every day when I get up. I think about the wall. The wall they are building on the Mexican border to keep Latinos from picking lettuce and mowing lawns and baby sitting. I think about the nine thousand national guardsmen being sent to keep the others, the aliens, away. The fact that the others, the Mexicanos, used to own California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas is an aside. Not an issue, not important.
What is the message? Conquer it and it is yours. History yields no payback. If you are not one of us you are not important. And you do not deserve anything, even though you help our economy function and thrive. Even though we need you. But as a nation, as your neighbors, we have no time or mercy. Not for you.
The only important thing to us is the debate. We hear it every day from a machine breeding racism that looks like patriotism. Spilled out every hour on the hour with a saccharine smile. Filled with Contempt.
Just listen to the hours of rhetoric on our television screens. When will it all end? When they've left? When we deport every Latin American here illegally? Keep them out, they're taking our jobs! Screams Lou Dobbs. Send a million bricks to congress to let them know, we don't want them here!
What's gonna happen when they are gone and a head of lettuce costs ten bucks? Who is gonna baby sit for the family where both parents work for a joint income less than 60,000 bucks. Who's going to pour the water and keep the dishes clean in every restaurant in this country from Seattle to Chicago, New York to Los Angeles, Houston and Miami.
What is the message? Keep out 'cause we don't want you to be part of our world. Spic, beaners, out of here!
I watch TV. I listen to the debate. And I wonder. Does that mean keep me out? I don't know. I did get a greencard at age eight because by my leaving Cuba I was fighting Communism. I was a special kind of Spic, a Cold War Spic. But it could be me.
I remember in 2000 when my play "Havana is Waiting" was at the Humana Festival. The Actor's Theatre of Louisville realized that it was going to be a hit, so at the last moment they decided that the big party, on the big weekend, should be a Cuban themed party with Cuban food and a very hot band. During the party I was sitting outside on the steps smoking a Habana cigar. And I remember one guy saying to his friend, "These god damn Latinos they want to take over everything." I looked at them and said, "I'm the god dammed Latino and don't worry. It's just one night in forty years. The rest of the parties belong to you." They walked away without an "I'm sorry" or an "I liked your play." I would've been happy with an "I hated your play." But no, just self assured silence.
So what is the message? Maybe it is me that should get out of the American theatre. Maybe the message has always been "This is not your country, not your theatre, get out."
Then again I am standing onstage at the American Airlines Theatre. I have been asked to give a speech... But I was picked by a French woman.
If you don't know me, you don't know my deep sense of paranoia. I am sure you will by the end of the speech. But in all paranoia there is a solid stream of the truth.
I never thought of myself as a Latino til I became an actor. And that's when the balancing act began. I think of my life in the theatre: how it saved me, how much I love it. And how much it's
changed, how for the past ten years I have longed for and cried for the theatre I walked into when I became an actor in Los Angeles in the seventies and when I first came to New York in 1981.
I got my SAG card at twenty, so for the last thirty three years I have been a professional in the arts. I wrote my first play in 1980. So for the last twenty five years I have been a playwright. I am a part of the theatre because I have worked for it. If I have any place on this
stage. I have earned it.
But I have always felt a separation. I have always felt another kind of wall. An invisible wall. Which are so much harder to walk through or break down. And for a paranoid like me, I wonder, am I imagining this wall? And then I bang my head against it. And I know.
When someone tells me, "We are not interested in your play, it's about Cubans, what do we know about Cubans?" What do you know about Russians, Germans and the Brits? But you do them. I would prefer you told me the play was not good enough.
Or, during my play "Broken Eggs," when a producer said to me, "Since the bride's family is Cuban we should just get really tacky costumes on fourteenth st."
Or "Listen Eduardo when they commissioned the play, they heard your name and they were expecting Carmen Miranda... You gave them Ibsen." Who knew a comparison to Ibsen could be a put down?
I have given every piece of my existence to my plays. I have compromised and sacrificed to be a part of the theater. But when I hear things like this I hear the message underneath. You are not one of us. You don't belong here.
Some of you might think I'm being dramatic. Some of you might think I'm making this up. But some of you know I'm telling the truth because I'm quoting you.
Still, I respect anyone who is in the theatre. I have spent so many, many years around you, seen you get old, seen you grow up. Maybe you didn't know what you were saying. You couldn't have known how much it hurt. But just because you didn't know, doesn't mean it didn't happen. You may not know which side you're on. But there is a wall, and it is not just about race.
Prejudice and fear is ingrained inside our molecules. But how far will we let it go? Are we afraid of style? Content? Maybe we're just afraid of Conflict. And where is the theater without conflict? If we are not open and brave where are we going? What is non-profit for anyway if
not to risk it all. Right?
I was told I could talk about anything so I'm going to speak my mind. If I insult you, fine. Conflict is not supposed to be comfortable. Let's argue. If we don't start arguing we are all going to drown in a sea of complacency worse then when Treplev was heard saying "when in a thousand variations I am served the same thing over and over and over again - then I feel as Maupassant when he fled from the Eiffel tower, which made his brain reel with vulgarity."
But I do feel we are on shaky ground. And while I may not have an American passport, I have a greencard, and on this side of the wall, I am afforded the right to protest what I see around me.
No matter how well intentioned and believing in their statements, The New York Theatre workshop showed us how afraid of the audience we truly are. And I find that horrifying and the worst kind of censorship imaginable.
As you know, New York Theatre workshop cancelled a play because members of the community warned them against it.
(At the end of these remarks, please find a brief response from New York Theatre Workshop.)
And I quote from the New York Times, "Mr. Nicola originally said that he had spoken to "Religious leaders" in making his decision... that the workshop did a "Wide reaching out into the complexity of the community in New York" that included reading Palestinian views on web sites. Mr. Nicola did say "We had a conversation with one board member who said that his rabbi had concerns about the play. An old friend who is Jewish, also questioned the play's message." End quote.
I cannot stomach a theater that will shut itself down because they're afraid of an audience's reaction. When the invisible wall is erected directly in front of the stage I have to speak. But at this point, I don't have the objectivity to find the right words. So I will defer to some other writers whose deaths have made their authority undeniable.
"The majority is never right. Never I tell you!. That's one of these lies in society that one free and intelligent man cannot help rebelling against. Who are these people that make up the biggest portion of the population- the intelligent ones or the fools? I think we can agree it's the fools, not matter where you go in the world, it's the fools that form the overwhelming majority." -Henrick Ibsen.
"I must warn my readers that my attacks are directed against themselves. Not against my stage figures" -George Bernard Shaw.
"It is because the public are a mass... inert, obtuse, and passive... that they need to be shaken up from time to time..." -Alfred Jarry.
"Yes the public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius" -Oscar Wilde.
How they all must have turned in their graves at the thought of it. Asking the audience... How do you feel? Are you ready to be challenged? Oh you're not? Then we won't insult you. Please let's breed silence and passivity here at home so there's nothing to compare with your fascist wars all over the world. Let's all be happy. Buy those tickets make those donations. And we will please you.
It is 2006. We are the theater in New York. And we are asking for permission. Where does that leave us?
What kind of theatre is it that asks whether or not it should censor itself. Is that even a question? And I am not just blaming New York Theatre Workshop, "Rachel Corrie" is just the most recent example. I am blaming all of us. Myself included. Even if I wanted to say everything all at once. I feel the wall. I know the words I dare not utter. Even in this speech.
What's happened to us?
Lorca died because he opposed the fascists in his community. If Ibsen's producers would have thought about their community the characters in "Ghosts" would not have had syphilis. Nora would have ended up staying home. And not slamming that door. What is going on?
I don't feel we are brave enough. I feel the theatre that I see for the most part is watered down.
It's getting ugly out there. Let's show it as much as we can on our stages.
And I beg you let us stop being afraid of the audience. They are supposed to be afraid of us.
But ever since the National Endowment got cut down to barely nothing we have had to follow a corporate model. We have to show profit in non-profit. Isn't that ridiculous? It's like an Ionesco play. We have become Rhinoceri. I know we feel we have to go along with it to survive... by it I mean pandering. Because we think we need a certain amount to make it. But how much are those dollars worth? And exactly how much do we need to survive?
Lorraine Hansberry asks, "Do I remain a revolutionary? Intellectually-without a doubt. But am I prepared to give my body to the struggle or even my comforts? This is what I puzzle about."
INTAR doesn't have a body right now. It was given up in the struggle. Because I decided that to raise 8 million dollars to build a theater had nothing to do with survival. A theater with a million dollar budget does not need a 500 thousand dollar flexible floor and it most definitely does not need to be in the basement of a Luxury Condominium. It needs to produce as many plays as it can, and that's it. This simple goal was not well received at the Department of Cultural Affairs. They kept telling me if I hired the right consultants, everything would be fine. I would be able to raise the millions needed for the building. But where to find the funding for
productions?
Which leads me to the biggest headache from the biggest wall that I have walked into every day for the last two years. The language and bureaucracy of grant giving on the part of both corporations and foundations, New York City and State. Their insistence on a for-profit model is really at the heart of our problem. We're back in the land of The Bald Soprano.
We must all fight against this. Non profits theatres should not sell tickets for a hundred dollars a seat. That's criminal. How are we ever going to find a new vital audience at those prices? Even sixty five to forty-five is unrealistic. Not everyone has a trust fund. Not everyone in New York City is rich. The audience we're missing can barely afford 20 dollars. But if we gave them a reason to, they'd get the money together. I did.
We have given into the worst kind of greed. The corporate model. And I'm sorry but our work has suffered because of it.
But we fill out the applications because we have no choice. It's just how it's done. Are we really willing to continue this way? How can we break through this wall of walls?
I suggest that DCA and NYSCA spend their time lobbying for more money for the arts and less time reading forms and policing institutions. We can't steal the money. We have audits that are freely distributed. So why give the same information in form after form? Report after report?
But no. It's just how it's done. I had no idea about any of this until I took over INTAR. And suddenly I realized why artistic directors always look a little mad. It's from the endless hustling. How can we focus if all we talk about is the 5 year plan.
We have to find a way to be ruthless with ourselves. Change the rules. We need an environment where it is safe to investigate. To discover. To fail.
Finally I'd like to discuss one of our biggest problems: Education. By now I think we all know we train too many people. I am guilty of this more then most of you. I run the playwriting program at Columbia and I am required to let in ten student playwrights a year. When I first started working there it was only six a year. It should really be two.
But because the university wants money. Because even at the educational level they feel art does not have to be subsidized, ten playwrights graduate every year from my program. How can they all
really be playwrights? They can't and they are not. And since when did theatre people need a master to be actors, directors and playwrights, designers and producers?
I barely graduated from high school.
I went to an acting school that was down an alley in Van Nuys. I learned about playwriting from Maria Irene Fornés in an abandoned building called INTAR 2 on 53rd street, and by having my first three plays produced - not workshopped - at The Ensemble Studio Theatre. No degree. Just what came my way. What I sought out. If we have so many students graduating every year then what happens to the self taught, the inspired, the different? They are buried under piles of graduate scripts, resumes and 8X10s.
There is a wall that is making the theatre a place for only those who can afford it. But who is being kept out? The voices of the hungry and unknown. Of those who don't fit in. Of those whose future is dependent on their ability to Scream.
Let me be frank, I teach at Columbia because I need the money, there is no grand scheme or noble purpose, just dollars and cents. And I try very hard to do a good, professional job.
But is that mentorship? Is it inspirational? I do my best, but I don't think so.
The way we have turned the art form into a factory is criminal and we all have to start talking to each other about this. We need better quality control. At all the schools.
Because not everyone is talented or exceptional. No matter how much they are willing to pay. We are creating a theatre of the average. That cannot be good.
I have seen the theatre change so much... Just since the early 90's...from the feeling of being delinquents of society and feeling proud of that. To this farce where we believe we are all entitled to talent and success. No one is entitled to that. All we can hope for is the joy in
the work, the joy of expression, the joy of creativity.
We are the theatre in New York City. We're not supposed to be proper. We're not supposed to be corporate. We need only love creation. Finding value in true talent. In harsh criticism. In hard work.
We're supposed to belong to each other.
I hope you still feel this. This sense of community.
I feel it less and less. Maybe after years of being called difficult I have made myself invisible. Yet I still want to be a part. I want to scream with all of you. In this city. In this theatre.
But I will risk that inclusion. Because as Ms. Hansberry says, "The thing that makes you exceptional, if you are at all, is inevitably that which must also make you lonely."
Let's forget about budgets and grants and is the audience happy. Let's create. Let's find that part of us that got us here in the first place. The part that does not feel like the rest of the world. The part that wants to rebel.
That part is on the other side of the wall.
And if we can prove that it's worth the struggle of climbing over, the theater in New York will again be something to reckon with.
My thanks to Virginia Louloudes. And the generous and daring Laura Pels for giving me the opportunity to share my thoughts with all of you.
Good night and thank you.
In response to Eduardo Machado's remarks regarding "My Name is Rachel Corrie":
New York Theatre Workshop did not cancel the play. This is a frequently misstated point. In fact, we asked the Royal Court, the original producer of the play and its rights holder, to allow for a postponement in order for us to more thoughtfully prepare for the production. We were never afraid of audience reaction; indeed, part of our institutional mission is to foster community dialogue.
- New York Theatre Workshop
The 2006 Laura Pels Foundation Keynote Address was delivered by Eduardo Machado on June 5 at the American Airlines Theater as part of Curtain Call, the Allaince of Resident Theatres/New York's annual celebration of Off Broadway. Eduardo Machado is the Artistic Director of INTAR Theatre and Head of Playwriting at Columbia University. He is the author of more than 40 plays including Kissing Fidel, The Cook, Havana is Waiting and The Floating Island Plays. Mr. Machado was introduced by Pulitzer Prize-winning critic Margo Jefferson.
Mr. Machado's remarks:
Every day when I get up. I think about the wall. The wall they are building on the Mexican border to keep Latinos from picking lettuce and mowing lawns and baby sitting. I think about the nine thousand national guardsmen being sent to keep the others, the aliens, away. The fact that the others, the Mexicanos, used to own California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas is an aside. Not an issue, not important.
What is the message? Conquer it and it is yours. History yields no payback. If you are not one of us you are not important. And you do not deserve anything, even though you help our economy function and thrive. Even though we need you. But as a nation, as your neighbors, we have no time or mercy. Not for you.
The only important thing to us is the debate. We hear it every day from a machine breeding racism that looks like patriotism. Spilled out every hour on the hour with a saccharine smile. Filled with Contempt.
Just listen to the hours of rhetoric on our television screens. When will it all end? When they've left? When we deport every Latin American here illegally? Keep them out, they're taking our jobs! Screams Lou Dobbs. Send a million bricks to congress to let them know, we don't want them here!
What's gonna happen when they are gone and a head of lettuce costs ten bucks? Who is gonna baby sit for the family where both parents work for a joint income less than 60,000 bucks. Who's going to pour the water and keep the dishes clean in every restaurant in this country from Seattle to Chicago, New York to Los Angeles, Houston and Miami.
What is the message? Keep out 'cause we don't want you to be part of our world. Spic, beaners, out of here!
I watch TV. I listen to the debate. And I wonder. Does that mean keep me out? I don't know. I did get a greencard at age eight because by my leaving Cuba I was fighting Communism. I was a special kind of Spic, a Cold War Spic. But it could be me.
I remember in 2000 when my play "Havana is Waiting" was at the Humana Festival. The Actor's Theatre of Louisville realized that it was going to be a hit, so at the last moment they decided that the big party, on the big weekend, should be a Cuban themed party with Cuban food and a very hot band. During the party I was sitting outside on the steps smoking a Habana cigar. And I remember one guy saying to his friend, "These god damn Latinos they want to take over everything." I looked at them and said, "I'm the god dammed Latino and don't worry. It's just one night in forty years. The rest of the parties belong to you." They walked away without an "I'm sorry" or an "I liked your play." I would've been happy with an "I hated your play." But no, just self assured silence.
So what is the message? Maybe it is me that should get out of the American theatre. Maybe the message has always been "This is not your country, not your theatre, get out."
Then again I am standing onstage at the American Airlines Theatre. I have been asked to give a speech... But I was picked by a French woman.
If you don't know me, you don't know my deep sense of paranoia. I am sure you will by the end of the speech. But in all paranoia there is a solid stream of the truth.
I never thought of myself as a Latino til I became an actor. And that's when the balancing act began. I think of my life in the theatre: how it saved me, how much I love it. And how much it's
changed, how for the past ten years I have longed for and cried for the theatre I walked into when I became an actor in Los Angeles in the seventies and when I first came to New York in 1981.
I got my SAG card at twenty, so for the last thirty three years I have been a professional in the arts. I wrote my first play in 1980. So for the last twenty five years I have been a playwright. I am a part of the theatre because I have worked for it. If I have any place on this
stage. I have earned it.
But I have always felt a separation. I have always felt another kind of wall. An invisible wall. Which are so much harder to walk through or break down. And for a paranoid like me, I wonder, am I imagining this wall? And then I bang my head against it. And I know.
When someone tells me, "We are not interested in your play, it's about Cubans, what do we know about Cubans?" What do you know about Russians, Germans and the Brits? But you do them. I would prefer you told me the play was not good enough.
Or, during my play "Broken Eggs," when a producer said to me, "Since the bride's family is Cuban we should just get really tacky costumes on fourteenth st."
Or "Listen Eduardo when they commissioned the play, they heard your name and they were expecting Carmen Miranda... You gave them Ibsen." Who knew a comparison to Ibsen could be a put down?
I have given every piece of my existence to my plays. I have compromised and sacrificed to be a part of the theater. But when I hear things like this I hear the message underneath. You are not one of us. You don't belong here.
Some of you might think I'm being dramatic. Some of you might think I'm making this up. But some of you know I'm telling the truth because I'm quoting you.
Still, I respect anyone who is in the theatre. I have spent so many, many years around you, seen you get old, seen you grow up. Maybe you didn't know what you were saying. You couldn't have known how much it hurt. But just because you didn't know, doesn't mean it didn't happen. You may not know which side you're on. But there is a wall, and it is not just about race.
Prejudice and fear is ingrained inside our molecules. But how far will we let it go? Are we afraid of style? Content? Maybe we're just afraid of Conflict. And where is the theater without conflict? If we are not open and brave where are we going? What is non-profit for anyway if
not to risk it all. Right?
I was told I could talk about anything so I'm going to speak my mind. If I insult you, fine. Conflict is not supposed to be comfortable. Let's argue. If we don't start arguing we are all going to drown in a sea of complacency worse then when Treplev was heard saying "when in a thousand variations I am served the same thing over and over and over again - then I feel as Maupassant when he fled from the Eiffel tower, which made his brain reel with vulgarity."
But I do feel we are on shaky ground. And while I may not have an American passport, I have a greencard, and on this side of the wall, I am afforded the right to protest what I see around me.
No matter how well intentioned and believing in their statements, The New York Theatre workshop showed us how afraid of the audience we truly are. And I find that horrifying and the worst kind of censorship imaginable.
As you know, New York Theatre workshop cancelled a play because members of the community warned them against it.
(At the end of these remarks, please find a brief response from New York Theatre Workshop.)
And I quote from the New York Times, "Mr. Nicola originally said that he had spoken to "Religious leaders" in making his decision... that the workshop did a "Wide reaching out into the complexity of the community in New York" that included reading Palestinian views on web sites. Mr. Nicola did say "We had a conversation with one board member who said that his rabbi had concerns about the play. An old friend who is Jewish, also questioned the play's message." End quote.
I cannot stomach a theater that will shut itself down because they're afraid of an audience's reaction. When the invisible wall is erected directly in front of the stage I have to speak. But at this point, I don't have the objectivity to find the right words. So I will defer to some other writers whose deaths have made their authority undeniable.
"The majority is never right. Never I tell you!. That's one of these lies in society that one free and intelligent man cannot help rebelling against. Who are these people that make up the biggest portion of the population- the intelligent ones or the fools? I think we can agree it's the fools, not matter where you go in the world, it's the fools that form the overwhelming majority." -Henrick Ibsen.
"I must warn my readers that my attacks are directed against themselves. Not against my stage figures" -George Bernard Shaw.
"It is because the public are a mass... inert, obtuse, and passive... that they need to be shaken up from time to time..." -Alfred Jarry.
"Yes the public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius" -Oscar Wilde.
How they all must have turned in their graves at the thought of it. Asking the audience... How do you feel? Are you ready to be challenged? Oh you're not? Then we won't insult you. Please let's breed silence and passivity here at home so there's nothing to compare with your fascist wars all over the world. Let's all be happy. Buy those tickets make those donations. And we will please you.
It is 2006. We are the theater in New York. And we are asking for permission. Where does that leave us?
What kind of theatre is it that asks whether or not it should censor itself. Is that even a question? And I am not just blaming New York Theatre Workshop, "Rachel Corrie" is just the most recent example. I am blaming all of us. Myself included. Even if I wanted to say everything all at once. I feel the wall. I know the words I dare not utter. Even in this speech.
What's happened to us?
Lorca died because he opposed the fascists in his community. If Ibsen's producers would have thought about their community the characters in "Ghosts" would not have had syphilis. Nora would have ended up staying home. And not slamming that door. What is going on?
I don't feel we are brave enough. I feel the theatre that I see for the most part is watered down.
It's getting ugly out there. Let's show it as much as we can on our stages.
And I beg you let us stop being afraid of the audience. They are supposed to be afraid of us.
But ever since the National Endowment got cut down to barely nothing we have had to follow a corporate model. We have to show profit in non-profit. Isn't that ridiculous? It's like an Ionesco play. We have become Rhinoceri. I know we feel we have to go along with it to survive... by it I mean pandering. Because we think we need a certain amount to make it. But how much are those dollars worth? And exactly how much do we need to survive?
Lorraine Hansberry asks, "Do I remain a revolutionary? Intellectually-without a doubt. But am I prepared to give my body to the struggle or even my comforts? This is what I puzzle about."
INTAR doesn't have a body right now. It was given up in the struggle. Because I decided that to raise 8 million dollars to build a theater had nothing to do with survival. A theater with a million dollar budget does not need a 500 thousand dollar flexible floor and it most definitely does not need to be in the basement of a Luxury Condominium. It needs to produce as many plays as it can, and that's it. This simple goal was not well received at the Department of Cultural Affairs. They kept telling me if I hired the right consultants, everything would be fine. I would be able to raise the millions needed for the building. But where to find the funding for
productions?
Which leads me to the biggest headache from the biggest wall that I have walked into every day for the last two years. The language and bureaucracy of grant giving on the part of both corporations and foundations, New York City and State. Their insistence on a for-profit model is really at the heart of our problem. We're back in the land of The Bald Soprano.
We must all fight against this. Non profits theatres should not sell tickets for a hundred dollars a seat. That's criminal. How are we ever going to find a new vital audience at those prices? Even sixty five to forty-five is unrealistic. Not everyone has a trust fund. Not everyone in New York City is rich. The audience we're missing can barely afford 20 dollars. But if we gave them a reason to, they'd get the money together. I did.
We have given into the worst kind of greed. The corporate model. And I'm sorry but our work has suffered because of it.
But we fill out the applications because we have no choice. It's just how it's done. Are we really willing to continue this way? How can we break through this wall of walls?
I suggest that DCA and NYSCA spend their time lobbying for more money for the arts and less time reading forms and policing institutions. We can't steal the money. We have audits that are freely distributed. So why give the same information in form after form? Report after report?
But no. It's just how it's done. I had no idea about any of this until I took over INTAR. And suddenly I realized why artistic directors always look a little mad. It's from the endless hustling. How can we focus if all we talk about is the 5 year plan.
We have to find a way to be ruthless with ourselves. Change the rules. We need an environment where it is safe to investigate. To discover. To fail.
Finally I'd like to discuss one of our biggest problems: Education. By now I think we all know we train too many people. I am guilty of this more then most of you. I run the playwriting program at Columbia and I am required to let in ten student playwrights a year. When I first started working there it was only six a year. It should really be two.
But because the university wants money. Because even at the educational level they feel art does not have to be subsidized, ten playwrights graduate every year from my program. How can they all
really be playwrights? They can't and they are not. And since when did theatre people need a master to be actors, directors and playwrights, designers and producers?
I barely graduated from high school.
I went to an acting school that was down an alley in Van Nuys. I learned about playwriting from Maria Irene Fornés in an abandoned building called INTAR 2 on 53rd street, and by having my first three plays produced - not workshopped - at The Ensemble Studio Theatre. No degree. Just what came my way. What I sought out. If we have so many students graduating every year then what happens to the self taught, the inspired, the different? They are buried under piles of graduate scripts, resumes and 8X10s.
There is a wall that is making the theatre a place for only those who can afford it. But who is being kept out? The voices of the hungry and unknown. Of those who don't fit in. Of those whose future is dependent on their ability to Scream.
Let me be frank, I teach at Columbia because I need the money, there is no grand scheme or noble purpose, just dollars and cents. And I try very hard to do a good, professional job.
But is that mentorship? Is it inspirational? I do my best, but I don't think so.
The way we have turned the art form into a factory is criminal and we all have to start talking to each other about this. We need better quality control. At all the schools.
Because not everyone is talented or exceptional. No matter how much they are willing to pay. We are creating a theatre of the average. That cannot be good.
I have seen the theatre change so much... Just since the early 90's...from the feeling of being delinquents of society and feeling proud of that. To this farce where we believe we are all entitled to talent and success. No one is entitled to that. All we can hope for is the joy in
the work, the joy of expression, the joy of creativity.
We are the theatre in New York City. We're not supposed to be proper. We're not supposed to be corporate. We need only love creation. Finding value in true talent. In harsh criticism. In hard work.
We're supposed to belong to each other.
I hope you still feel this. This sense of community.
I feel it less and less. Maybe after years of being called difficult I have made myself invisible. Yet I still want to be a part. I want to scream with all of you. In this city. In this theatre.
But I will risk that inclusion. Because as Ms. Hansberry says, "The thing that makes you exceptional, if you are at all, is inevitably that which must also make you lonely."
Let's forget about budgets and grants and is the audience happy. Let's create. Let's find that part of us that got us here in the first place. The part that does not feel like the rest of the world. The part that wants to rebel.
That part is on the other side of the wall.
And if we can prove that it's worth the struggle of climbing over, the theater in New York will again be something to reckon with.
My thanks to Virginia Louloudes. And the generous and daring Laura Pels for giving me the opportunity to share my thoughts with all of you.
Good night and thank you.
In response to Eduardo Machado's remarks regarding "My Name is Rachel Corrie":
New York Theatre Workshop did not cancel the play. This is a frequently misstated point. In fact, we asked the Royal Court, the original producer of the play and its rights holder, to allow for a postponement in order for us to more thoughtfully prepare for the production. We were never afraid of audience reaction; indeed, part of our institutional mission is to foster community dialogue.
- New York Theatre Workshop
Monday, June 20, 2011
Belong To Whom?
If there was ever a common thread in regards to my pursuits: involvement with martial arts/lion dancing, acting and theater, personal development, spiritual development I would have to say that common denominator (besides ME) would be the sense of belonging.
Let me rephrase that. The PERCEPTION of a sense of belonging.
Just because I'm a part of something doesn't necessarily indicate that I belong to any of the organizations I participate in. At some point, I felt the need TO belong. I was under the impression that in order to thrive within my pursuits, I needed to belong.
I didn't.
Once again the need to belong anywhere and everywhere involves a "gatekeeper." Even if I were a part of a family, there exists a family member "gatekeeper" who determines whether or not you "belong" to that family. I was adopted to a family in Oakland California. Whether or not I truly "belonged" to that family is another story. Was I loved by members of my family? Absolutely. I miss my maternal grandparents and I do what I can to remember them. My mother? Yes. Being loved by members of your family doesn't determine whether or not you truly "belonged" to that family.
After all, they're family.
I often found myself crossing paths with like-minded folks searching for a sense of belonging. At times we accepted each others' company and companionship and provided that sense. Sometimes we eventually find that "home" where we feel we belong to. As for the organizations I worked with in the past and still continue to work with, that sense of belonging fluctuates in time and in different situation as warranted.
Contacted an energy healer recently. First thing that came out of her mouth as soon as I entered the space.
LET GO of needing to belong. Do that by acknowledging that you're already inter-connected with each other and with God
Light bulb went illuminated in my mental head. It wasn't so much of my need to "belong" anywhere as it was that I suffered from amnesia. I forgot that I'm connected with everyone. Then again it's easy to forget, isn't it?
We cut each other off the road while driving and doing the "one finger wave."
We judge each other according to what the other wears...
...or what someone does for a living.
...or who someone voted for.
What victim would like to remind themselves that they're inter-connected to their respected perpetrator?
But we are. We are created that way in that Grand Scheme of Things.
This isn't a lesson on "how to connect," because we already connect. All the time 24/7. This is more of "how can I feel connected when I don't feel like I belong?"
First off, let go of belonging. That's external, out there, it "victimizes" because that sense of belonging is predicated on the action and attitudes of others.
Secondly, "FIRE" YOUR GATEKEEPER. Did you know you had one? That's the one who focuses on "s/he doesn't belong in OUR group," or "I don't belong here." The gate keeper's has one purpose: to distract you from the fact that you're connected.
Third, in figuring out how you're connected to someone you least feel connected to, look for what bothers you most about him or her. Then look at how you share that same quality. Do the same in finding what you admire about them. If you spot it, you got it!
Let me rephrase that. The PERCEPTION of a sense of belonging.
Just because I'm a part of something doesn't necessarily indicate that I belong to any of the organizations I participate in. At some point, I felt the need TO belong. I was under the impression that in order to thrive within my pursuits, I needed to belong.
I didn't.
Once again the need to belong anywhere and everywhere involves a "gatekeeper." Even if I were a part of a family, there exists a family member "gatekeeper" who determines whether or not you "belong" to that family. I was adopted to a family in Oakland California. Whether or not I truly "belonged" to that family is another story. Was I loved by members of my family? Absolutely. I miss my maternal grandparents and I do what I can to remember them. My mother? Yes. Being loved by members of your family doesn't determine whether or not you truly "belonged" to that family.
After all, they're family.
I often found myself crossing paths with like-minded folks searching for a sense of belonging. At times we accepted each others' company and companionship and provided that sense. Sometimes we eventually find that "home" where we feel we belong to. As for the organizations I worked with in the past and still continue to work with, that sense of belonging fluctuates in time and in different situation as warranted.
Contacted an energy healer recently. First thing that came out of her mouth as soon as I entered the space.
LET GO of needing to belong. Do that by acknowledging that you're already inter-connected with each other and with God
Light bulb went illuminated in my mental head. It wasn't so much of my need to "belong" anywhere as it was that I suffered from amnesia. I forgot that I'm connected with everyone. Then again it's easy to forget, isn't it?
We cut each other off the road while driving and doing the "one finger wave."
We judge each other according to what the other wears...
...or what someone does for a living.
...or who someone voted for.
What victim would like to remind themselves that they're inter-connected to their respected perpetrator?
But we are. We are created that way in that Grand Scheme of Things.
This isn't a lesson on "how to connect," because we already connect. All the time 24/7. This is more of "how can I feel connected when I don't feel like I belong?"
First off, let go of belonging. That's external, out there, it "victimizes" because that sense of belonging is predicated on the action and attitudes of others.
Secondly, "FIRE" YOUR GATEKEEPER. Did you know you had one? That's the one who focuses on "s/he doesn't belong in OUR group," or "I don't belong here." The gate keeper's has one purpose: to distract you from the fact that you're connected.
Third, in figuring out how you're connected to someone you least feel connected to, look for what bothers you most about him or her. Then look at how you share that same quality. Do the same in finding what you admire about them. If you spot it, you got it!
Saturday, June 18, 2011
The Religious Order for Actors
Originally Posted on March 18, 2011 HERE Was eventually completed on April 1, 2011
Yes and No.
With a lot of controversy surrounding the whole thing about Tom Cruise and his ties to the Scientologists, the average audience member watches on with certain assumptions of their favorite performers in regards their respected spirituality. Actors are an uncanny fickle bunch. I should know, I fall into the same category as most actors. If someone was to inquire about my own personal view on spirituality, I'd simply give them a generic answer: "I'm Christian." Sure, I've seen and heard a more general response such as "I'm spiritual." (What the hell does THAT really mean?)
Posting about my faith and theology is for another future time. It's difficult to really separate my beliefs versus my experiences within a religious setting, and that is a challenge that the average person wrestles with in regards to spirituality. So therefore I'm gonna attempt to build a 10 foot pole to touch the topic in the near future.
I'm not really talking about that anyways.
I observed the last ten years while pursuing, training and working on various acting productions that the actor tends to create their own sort of religious order to a lesser degree than a fanatical follower when it comes to the technique of their craft of acting. I'm not talking about fundamental craft knowledge such as voice, diction, movement/dance though people will separate themselves along the various disciplines there too. (Linklater vs Fitzmaurice vs Alexander ect) I'm referring to the various schools of techniques in regards to achieving the performance state of "being in the moment."
Since my performance background began in doing stand-up comedy, I gravitated towards the improvisational based forms of acting when I began my formal acting training. I was lucky enough to learn from someone who was versed in VARIOUS schools of improv acting, so there was no hard-core loyalty insistence. Coming from San Francisco, Theatersports and Johnstone has a heavy presence in the improvisational scene. Elsewhere in L.A., N.Y. and Chicago, Second City and more Spolin based improv dominate the scene. As ridiculous as it sounds I've come across improvisors who refused to work with other improvisors not trained within their discipline. (Theatersports trained folks won't work with Improv Olympics or Spolin based Improv, and vice-versa)
On the other end of the spectrum, acting methods are split accordingly also. The average person has heard of "The Method," when it comes to acting. There just isn't ONE method per se. Almost if not all "methods" that's known is based directly and indirectly to theories on acting created by Stanislavsky. I look at the various schools and methods on acting the way I observe church and denominational splits. In a lot of ways, a new acting method created is normally the result of a split from another school of acting.
Now a new form of "Method" is taking shape. Known as "Contemporary Method," it evolves on a more eclectic approach. In addition to taking a little of Meisner and a little of Strasberg, ect, they'll add something such as "energy work, past lives," and other forms of pseudo-psychology. I would love to say that because of their eclectic nature, they have no qualms against other schools/methods, however that is normally not the case.
Why the split? Why the chasm between all the method/school/approaches to acting? All could be linked to the one common denominator: the "Guru." The acting coach/instructor/teacher ect in a lot of cases holds more power over actors than the actors should permit. Largely that is due to what belief and/or attachment the actors hold in respect to the desired results they're getting in relation to their coaching. A friend of mine who transplanted to L.A. from S.F. concluded that all her earlier acting training "sucked ass" as compared to the audition coach she currently and religiously trains with. (She also emphasize that L.A. training is far superior to S.F. training) The reason being was prior to her training w/this coach, she did not book herself in any major productions. After booking a role in a Keanu Reeves film, she's spellbound by this coach.
This is not an unusual situation. Ask any actor why they gravitate towards a particular coach or school or approach and they'll explain how much they benefited. That's all the actor wants: to be able to do the best job they can possibly do as an actor, period. If you told another actor that you booked your last major role as a result of following a coaches advice to inhale through the left nostril and exhaling through the right while delivering lines, SOMEONE will attempt that on their next audition.
Take it outside of the actor's context. If you're a single guy, and your friend who was known in the past for being incapable in meeting women suddenly shows up with multiple women on his arms, would you not inquire about the change? If you're struggling with your weight and your best friend who was overweight the majority of their life shows up lean, trim and fit, wouldn't you want to know what they did?
So Actor A and Actor B attends most of the same audition, and Actor B tends to be given the role. At other auditions Actor A notices that Actor C tends to book those roles. Actor A learns that Actors B and C are from the same acting training. Guess what the next training agenda is for Actor A. If Actor A lands a role shortly after they begin that particular training, that training becomes a new religion for Actor A until that training no longer works, and Actor A begins this cycle all over again with another form of training.
So as a student of personal development, as a former missionary, and as a working actor, I've decided to follow in the tradition of acting gurus past and present: I have created an acting training approach. What makes my training stand out is that it's open to actors and non-actors alike. All are welcomed. No one is turned away for lack of talent. Now lack of funds, different story. Payment must be made on time. Remember that once you begin your training, any positive incidents, results, or events that happened in your life was a direct result of ME and MY training!!! Because of that, anytime your family, friend, or colleague inquire about your sudden fortune of positive stuff, make sure you refer them TO ME. We (I) will grow this training to new heights. You will no longer need to goto church if you attended church. I AM your new church. I AM your new god. All good things in your life came from me and what I taught you. NOW KOWTOW!
...Happy April Fool's Day!
Yes and No.
With a lot of controversy surrounding the whole thing about Tom Cruise and his ties to the Scientologists, the average audience member watches on with certain assumptions of their favorite performers in regards their respected spirituality. Actors are an uncanny fickle bunch. I should know, I fall into the same category as most actors. If someone was to inquire about my own personal view on spirituality, I'd simply give them a generic answer: "I'm Christian." Sure, I've seen and heard a more general response such as "I'm spiritual." (What the hell does THAT really mean?)
Posting about my faith and theology is for another future time. It's difficult to really separate my beliefs versus my experiences within a religious setting, and that is a challenge that the average person wrestles with in regards to spirituality. So therefore I'm gonna attempt to build a 10 foot pole to touch the topic in the near future.
I'm not really talking about that anyways.
I observed the last ten years while pursuing, training and working on various acting productions that the actor tends to create their own sort of religious order to a lesser degree than a fanatical follower when it comes to the technique of their craft of acting. I'm not talking about fundamental craft knowledge such as voice, diction, movement/dance though people will separate themselves along the various disciplines there too. (Linklater vs Fitzmaurice vs Alexander ect) I'm referring to the various schools of techniques in regards to achieving the performance state of "being in the moment."
Since my performance background began in doing stand-up comedy, I gravitated towards the improvisational based forms of acting when I began my formal acting training. I was lucky enough to learn from someone who was versed in VARIOUS schools of improv acting, so there was no hard-core loyalty insistence. Coming from San Francisco, Theatersports and Johnstone has a heavy presence in the improvisational scene. Elsewhere in L.A., N.Y. and Chicago, Second City and more Spolin based improv dominate the scene. As ridiculous as it sounds I've come across improvisors who refused to work with other improvisors not trained within their discipline. (Theatersports trained folks won't work with Improv Olympics or Spolin based Improv, and vice-versa)
On the other end of the spectrum, acting methods are split accordingly also. The average person has heard of "The Method," when it comes to acting. There just isn't ONE method per se. Almost if not all "methods" that's known is based directly and indirectly to theories on acting created by Stanislavsky. I look at the various schools and methods on acting the way I observe church and denominational splits. In a lot of ways, a new acting method created is normally the result of a split from another school of acting.
Now a new form of "Method" is taking shape. Known as "Contemporary Method," it evolves on a more eclectic approach. In addition to taking a little of Meisner and a little of Strasberg, ect, they'll add something such as "energy work, past lives," and other forms of pseudo-psychology. I would love to say that because of their eclectic nature, they have no qualms against other schools/methods, however that is normally not the case.
Why the split? Why the chasm between all the method/school/approaches to acting? All could be linked to the one common denominator: the "Guru." The acting coach/instructor/teacher ect in a lot of cases holds more power over actors than the actors should permit. Largely that is due to what belief and/or attachment the actors hold in respect to the desired results they're getting in relation to their coaching. A friend of mine who transplanted to L.A. from S.F. concluded that all her earlier acting training "sucked ass" as compared to the audition coach she currently and religiously trains with. (She also emphasize that L.A. training is far superior to S.F. training) The reason being was prior to her training w/this coach, she did not book herself in any major productions. After booking a role in a Keanu Reeves film, she's spellbound by this coach.
This is not an unusual situation. Ask any actor why they gravitate towards a particular coach or school or approach and they'll explain how much they benefited. That's all the actor wants: to be able to do the best job they can possibly do as an actor, period. If you told another actor that you booked your last major role as a result of following a coaches advice to inhale through the left nostril and exhaling through the right while delivering lines, SOMEONE will attempt that on their next audition.
Take it outside of the actor's context. If you're a single guy, and your friend who was known in the past for being incapable in meeting women suddenly shows up with multiple women on his arms, would you not inquire about the change? If you're struggling with your weight and your best friend who was overweight the majority of their life shows up lean, trim and fit, wouldn't you want to know what they did?
So Actor A and Actor B attends most of the same audition, and Actor B tends to be given the role. At other auditions Actor A notices that Actor C tends to book those roles. Actor A learns that Actors B and C are from the same acting training. Guess what the next training agenda is for Actor A. If Actor A lands a role shortly after they begin that particular training, that training becomes a new religion for Actor A until that training no longer works, and Actor A begins this cycle all over again with another form of training.
So as a student of personal development, as a former missionary, and as a working actor, I've decided to follow in the tradition of acting gurus past and present: I have created an acting training approach. What makes my training stand out is that it's open to actors and non-actors alike. All are welcomed. No one is turned away for lack of talent. Now lack of funds, different story. Payment must be made on time. Remember that once you begin your training, any positive incidents, results, or events that happened in your life was a direct result of ME and MY training!!! Because of that, anytime your family, friend, or colleague inquire about your sudden fortune of positive stuff, make sure you refer them TO ME. We (I) will grow this training to new heights. You will no longer need to goto church if you attended church. I AM your new church. I AM your new god. All good things in your life came from me and what I taught you. NOW KOWTOW!
...Happy April Fool's Day!
Friday, June 10, 2011
Lessons From a Miracle Taken For Granted
10-July, 1997: Gengma, Yunnan China PRC
I hardly discussed my time with The Salvation Army, specifically in regards to my experience with the China Service Corps Team in 1997. On a personal level, the assignment ended on such a devastating note, I cared not to discuss the trip in details as much as my teammates. It was a lot of "firsts" for this specific program that it received much fanfare and publicity in the aftermath. I barely kept up with the post momentum.
Photos don't lie and there are a lot of photos where I'm actually smiling and having a blast during the trip. I just chose to "throw the baby out with the bath water." Following the trip, vivid images of a newborn on life support, children begging on the streets, cheating taxi drivers, and my emergency hospital visit were the events I chose to recall in details if I even bothered to mention the trip at all. Yeah I did have a choice on which events to recall. I felt more "comfy" with the neggies.
All because I didn't get laid.
Yeah I know I'm going on behalf of a Christian organization, but so what? I'm a half a world away in a foreign country for the first time in my life, and not one booty call. I was pissed at the end.
When I grew up listening to Motley Crue during my junior high years, I recalled an interview Nikki Sixx made:
"I don't want to sit at some goddam old folks home on a fucking rocking chair, turn on Vince's (Neil) hearing aide, and say, 'I wish I fucked that chick.'"
I didn't understand what Nikki meant when I initially read it in junior high, but I sure as hell understood it after my trip to China.
So I allowed regret to shadow my first experience in Asia.
I didn't focus on the preschool age children approaching me, calling me "ShuShu" ("Uncle") or the many dances with university female students, or the laughter, or the street artist who accurately, amazingly sketched a wallet-size photo of myself. No, I chose to focus on what I hated about the trip.
I'm recalling all of this now because of a lesson I'm currently reviewing. There was a quote stating that people who are focused on the problems tend to miss the miracles.
*RAISES HAND* Yup, guilty.
Our team traveled from Kunming, Yunnan China to Lincang County, down to Gengma and we were returning to Lincang. One of our teammates Ken was sick and did not make our tour of Gengma, so we had to pick him back up from Lincang. At that time (1997) the roads were not fully developed yet, and one of the main road was a paved dirt trail along a rivers edge from Lincang to Gengma. Our team even nicknamed the river as the "Milktea" river because of the resemblance to milktea.
Gengma was like one of the worse of the visit during that four days because it rained 90% of the time. The accommodations were not modernized and there were regular evening blackouts. I was in a very cranky mood and I longed to return to Lincang where the hotel was more modern.
While driving alongside the "Milktea" River (to this day I have no idea what the actual name of the river is) our bus had a flat. The driver announced that we were to empty the bus while he changes the tire. Mind you that this driver was already on my shit list as he had attempted to show us the border to Myanmar and drove so close that we ended up searched by the Myanmar border patrols with their automatic weapons pointed at us.
So we're getting soaking wet while the driver then discovers that the flat is located in the inner layer of a two layer wheel, which meant that he had to take out the outer wheel first before replacing the flat inside. At that point, I decided to occupy myself by grabbing pieces of mud, which was plentiful, and wrote "SOUR" all over the bus. If you're wondering why the word, "SOUR" it was the closest 4-letter 'S' word that I could think of off the top of my head that meant as close to the "other" 4-letter 'S' word. My teammates are annoyed at me by this point and asked me when I was going to stop my antics. I told them as soon as I'm back inside the bus I'll stop.
Finally our driver completes the tire change and we're back inside the bus. We're driving along the road when an oncoming vehicle approached us. Our driver and the other driver are conversing and it becomes gradually more escalated. I'm mumbling to myself at that point for the driver to "shut the f* up and f*king drive." Then Colonel Yee, our adviser, and our translators/escorts joins in on the conversation with the drivers and it gets more excitedly escalated. Turned out that the other vehicle was an emergency vehicle who just completed a quick makeshift preliminary cleanup/repave work on the road ahead of us. Less that 20-30 minutes prior, there was a major mudslide/avalanche on the road. Chances are, had we not had to stop and change the tire, we would've been most likely in that "Milktea" river. As we got to the cleanup slide location, we barely made it through that road as it was narrower and closer to the edge that we could see the river alongside our window. It was a literal "narrow" escape.
I didn't put much thought into that time until now. I'm going through what I thought was a "bad" situation, unaware that in the grand scheme of things, the lives of about 14 people including mine were being saved. I didn't realize how much of a close call that situation really was.
I was so focused on "SOUR," I didn't realize that a miracle was taking place for me. So as I sit here awaiting for my next miracle to happen, I take on the possibility of a miracle unfolding as I type this now. I just need to be patient, and focus on the "SWEET."
I hardly discussed my time with The Salvation Army, specifically in regards to my experience with the China Service Corps Team in 1997. On a personal level, the assignment ended on such a devastating note, I cared not to discuss the trip in details as much as my teammates. It was a lot of "firsts" for this specific program that it received much fanfare and publicity in the aftermath. I barely kept up with the post momentum.
Photos don't lie and there are a lot of photos where I'm actually smiling and having a blast during the trip. I just chose to "throw the baby out with the bath water." Following the trip, vivid images of a newborn on life support, children begging on the streets, cheating taxi drivers, and my emergency hospital visit were the events I chose to recall in details if I even bothered to mention the trip at all. Yeah I did have a choice on which events to recall. I felt more "comfy" with the neggies.
All because I didn't get laid.
Yeah I know I'm going on behalf of a Christian organization, but so what? I'm a half a world away in a foreign country for the first time in my life, and not one booty call. I was pissed at the end.
When I grew up listening to Motley Crue during my junior high years, I recalled an interview Nikki Sixx made:
"I don't want to sit at some goddam old folks home on a fucking rocking chair, turn on Vince's (Neil) hearing aide, and say, 'I wish I fucked that chick.'"
I didn't understand what Nikki meant when I initially read it in junior high, but I sure as hell understood it after my trip to China.
So I allowed regret to shadow my first experience in Asia.
I didn't focus on the preschool age children approaching me, calling me "ShuShu" ("Uncle") or the many dances with university female students, or the laughter, or the street artist who accurately, amazingly sketched a wallet-size photo of myself. No, I chose to focus on what I hated about the trip.
I'm recalling all of this now because of a lesson I'm currently reviewing. There was a quote stating that people who are focused on the problems tend to miss the miracles.
*RAISES HAND* Yup, guilty.
Our team traveled from Kunming, Yunnan China to Lincang County, down to Gengma and we were returning to Lincang. One of our teammates Ken was sick and did not make our tour of Gengma, so we had to pick him back up from Lincang. At that time (1997) the roads were not fully developed yet, and one of the main road was a paved dirt trail along a rivers edge from Lincang to Gengma. Our team even nicknamed the river as the "Milktea" river because of the resemblance to milktea.
Gengma was like one of the worse of the visit during that four days because it rained 90% of the time. The accommodations were not modernized and there were regular evening blackouts. I was in a very cranky mood and I longed to return to Lincang where the hotel was more modern.
While driving alongside the "Milktea" River (to this day I have no idea what the actual name of the river is) our bus had a flat. The driver announced that we were to empty the bus while he changes the tire. Mind you that this driver was already on my shit list as he had attempted to show us the border to Myanmar and drove so close that we ended up searched by the Myanmar border patrols with their automatic weapons pointed at us.
So we're getting soaking wet while the driver then discovers that the flat is located in the inner layer of a two layer wheel, which meant that he had to take out the outer wheel first before replacing the flat inside. At that point, I decided to occupy myself by grabbing pieces of mud, which was plentiful, and wrote "SOUR" all over the bus. If you're wondering why the word, "SOUR" it was the closest 4-letter 'S' word that I could think of off the top of my head that meant as close to the "other" 4-letter 'S' word. My teammates are annoyed at me by this point and asked me when I was going to stop my antics. I told them as soon as I'm back inside the bus I'll stop.
Finally our driver completes the tire change and we're back inside the bus. We're driving along the road when an oncoming vehicle approached us. Our driver and the other driver are conversing and it becomes gradually more escalated. I'm mumbling to myself at that point for the driver to "shut the f* up and f*king drive." Then Colonel Yee, our adviser, and our translators/escorts joins in on the conversation with the drivers and it gets more excitedly escalated. Turned out that the other vehicle was an emergency vehicle who just completed a quick makeshift preliminary cleanup/repave work on the road ahead of us. Less that 20-30 minutes prior, there was a major mudslide/avalanche on the road. Chances are, had we not had to stop and change the tire, we would've been most likely in that "Milktea" river. As we got to the cleanup slide location, we barely made it through that road as it was narrower and closer to the edge that we could see the river alongside our window. It was a literal "narrow" escape.
I didn't put much thought into that time until now. I'm going through what I thought was a "bad" situation, unaware that in the grand scheme of things, the lives of about 14 people including mine were being saved. I didn't realize how much of a close call that situation really was.
I was so focused on "SOUR," I didn't realize that a miracle was taking place for me. So as I sit here awaiting for my next miracle to happen, I take on the possibility of a miracle unfolding as I type this now. I just need to be patient, and focus on the "SWEET."
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Just Visiting
I don't know how important it is to have an actual membership and actually take advantage of the privilege that's attached to a membership. I'm very aware that to qualify to enter the business class waiting lounge one must purchase a ticket. I know that for every place with or without membership, there's always a "doorkeeper" who guards against people who supposedly "don't belong." We've heard the slogan, "membership has its privilege," and for the most part people buy into it. I myself buy into it. Let's face it, there are places out there where being a member is something I'd rather not be.
I maybe dating myself, but there used to be a brand name for jackets called Members Only. It was an earlier thin bomber style jacket with this special sort of extra straps on the shoulder. Now for those who were able to afford such a brand name jacket, they were enjoying a social "membership status" within the community. In my case, that community was junior high school elite. In those days, there were different imitators of that style of jackets. Compass Point was one of the other imitation brands. Now the hierarchy in school was for those who wore the actual MO jackets. If you had a CP jacket, that was acceptable as long as 1) you were considered by the elite as "cute," 2) you wore other brand name attire with logos of a triangle, a polo player, or alligator.
Unfortunately, I only possessed a Compass Point jacket.
I was not considered a "member" in junior high. It was challenging when other friends of yours were benefiting from "membership privileges," and then there's the strain of dealing with them as well as them dealing with you. So at an early age, I learned the PERCEIVED dynamics of "membership," "membership privileges," "door keeper," "belonging," and "not belonging."
Noticed I said "PERCEIVED?"
The perception of "members only" (not the brand name) is artificially constructed by humanity. Ever talk to some "guru" or someone considered "spiritual?" They always talk about being a "member of the human race." And people react as if they heard it for the first time. As corny as it sounds, there is SOME truth to what they are saying. The point they attempted to make was that "membership" is artificially created. Do we really need a membership to drink water, eat food, find love? No we don't. However we create organizations and things with membership requirements that leaves us with the impression that without membership, we may not be able to eat, drink, and love.
For the first time in my life, I attended a Toastmasters meeting. All this time in the public eye and my pursuit of personal growth, I never attended a Toastmasters meeting. I looked at the site in advance to get the information on the date, location, and agenda. I came to the meeting with the mindset that I'm there as a "visiting guest" as oppose to a "member." I left as a "guest." What surprised me was that even as a "visiting guest," (non-member) there were privileges attached. It was the first time I came upon a situation that even not having membership "has its privileges." I had barely sat down for 30 seconds when the forum person invited the "guest" to present a "table" speech in front of the group. The premise of the table speech is to speak for 2-3 minutes after grabbing an item from the bag. I grabbed scotch tape. I talked about "sticking together" as a community. Not bad for something on the fly. At the conclusion of the meeting, I received the "Table Award." I was dumbfounded because I was "not a member" of the group. I did not feel worthy of the honor because I was "not a member." The head of the meeting insisted that it didn't matter, and until I decide to become a member, I was more than welcomed to attend their meetings as a guest.
If only junior high were as opened as Toastmasters...
I maybe dating myself, but there used to be a brand name for jackets called Members Only. It was an earlier thin bomber style jacket with this special sort of extra straps on the shoulder. Now for those who were able to afford such a brand name jacket, they were enjoying a social "membership status" within the community. In my case, that community was junior high school elite. In those days, there were different imitators of that style of jackets. Compass Point was one of the other imitation brands. Now the hierarchy in school was for those who wore the actual MO jackets. If you had a CP jacket, that was acceptable as long as 1) you were considered by the elite as "cute," 2) you wore other brand name attire with logos of a triangle, a polo player, or alligator.
Unfortunately, I only possessed a Compass Point jacket.
I was not considered a "member" in junior high. It was challenging when other friends of yours were benefiting from "membership privileges," and then there's the strain of dealing with them as well as them dealing with you. So at an early age, I learned the PERCEIVED dynamics of "membership," "membership privileges," "door keeper," "belonging," and "not belonging."
Noticed I said "PERCEIVED?"
The perception of "members only" (not the brand name) is artificially constructed by humanity. Ever talk to some "guru" or someone considered "spiritual?" They always talk about being a "member of the human race." And people react as if they heard it for the first time. As corny as it sounds, there is SOME truth to what they are saying. The point they attempted to make was that "membership" is artificially created. Do we really need a membership to drink water, eat food, find love? No we don't. However we create organizations and things with membership requirements that leaves us with the impression that without membership, we may not be able to eat, drink, and love.
For the first time in my life, I attended a Toastmasters meeting. All this time in the public eye and my pursuit of personal growth, I never attended a Toastmasters meeting. I looked at the site in advance to get the information on the date, location, and agenda. I came to the meeting with the mindset that I'm there as a "visiting guest" as oppose to a "member." I left as a "guest." What surprised me was that even as a "visiting guest," (non-member) there were privileges attached. It was the first time I came upon a situation that even not having membership "has its privileges." I had barely sat down for 30 seconds when the forum person invited the "guest" to present a "table" speech in front of the group. The premise of the table speech is to speak for 2-3 minutes after grabbing an item from the bag. I grabbed scotch tape. I talked about "sticking together" as a community. Not bad for something on the fly. At the conclusion of the meeting, I received the "Table Award." I was dumbfounded because I was "not a member" of the group. I did not feel worthy of the honor because I was "not a member." The head of the meeting insisted that it didn't matter, and until I decide to become a member, I was more than welcomed to attend their meetings as a guest.
If only junior high were as opened as Toastmasters...
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