I've Fallen and I AM Getting Up!

I'm convinced that invisible ink is utilized on our high school diplomas and our other higher learning accredited degrees.  Why?  Because it seem to me that our society is convinced that it's no longer acceptable to be a beginner afterwards.  Somehow hidden on the document declaring that "NAME has fulfilled all requirements to be conferred ___________" is something along the lines of:

"You no longer have permission to be a beginner again and must be good at your adult endeavors or else cease participating in them."  

Why?  It seems to be the overall sentiment.  It seems that people no longer have permission from society to learn a new skill or a new endeavor without some sort of scrutiny.  If a person decided they wanted to learn how to sing, the expectation is that they must instantly become the next Freddie Mercury, Whitney Houston, or Pavarotti, less they're just wasting their time.  There's no room for mistakes, voice cracks, off key moments.  Is it any wonder why we have such a high rate of obesity?  People are expected to exercise and eat perfectly otherwise they're accused of wasting their time.  Yet exercise and voice training both have something in common: the need to fatigue and break muscle fiber.  In other words, the need to "fail."  Those who exercise know that their physique is dependent on the muscle fibers tearing and rebuilding.  Likewise when someone is learning to develop their voice, singing off key and cracking voice on a high note or range work the same way as a broken muscle fiber for a body builder.  

I didn't understand in the beginning why my acting classes were sometimes referred to as an"actors' lab."  That was and is because it wasn't so much a class where someone lectured and students took notes.  It was an experience created where the actors can "experiment" with their choices, being-ness and approaches to find out what enabled them to work more effectively as an actor.  In other words it was a safe environment giving an actor permission to make mistakes.  

One of my nieces had learned to walk within the last couple of months, and it was one of the most cutest and inspiring moments to savor.  I look forward to bringing in a little human into this world and as a parent, watch him/her tackle that same endeavor.  Anyhow as my niece falls, tumbles, picks herself back up, falls again, we adults look on with amazement and wonder.  Not once did anyone tell her, "OK, you fell X times already.  Just give it up."  If anyone had said such a thing, they would be ostracized and perhaps shunned from society and justifiably so for their insensitivity and callousness.  Yet why do we do that to each other when our peers, colleagues, friends, family, and lovers while pursuing something new and they have a "fall" per se, our immediately response is telling them, "give it up already?"  If it's considered inhumane to do that to a one year old who's learning to walk and talk, why isn't it considered inhumane to do that to each other?  

If anyone were to pursue an endeavor, learn a new skill, I become their cheerleader.  Why?  Because I know first-hand how much resistance that person will receive from other people within their own inner circle.  Don't get me wrong, if someone were to approach me and tell me they're aspiring to pursue acting, there'd better be a game plan to learn the craft.  I have told specific people to "give it up" to their faces, not because they fallen, but because they didn't even take any sort of step.  I've been approached by people who told me they wanted me to assist them in their pursuit of acting, but when I ask them what steps they've taken or are going to take, their answer was basically the fact that they're asking me to help them network with my colleagues.  Nope, sorry, in that case they are wasting my time.  I'm talking about being a cheerleader for those who have actually taken steps to pursue their endeavors, dreams, skills.  

What does it mean that I'll be their cheerleader?  Look out for incremental progress and cherish it because I know people en mass will focus on what went wrong.  If something did go wrong and it's correctable, simply remind them to make that correction/adjustment without harping them.  I've heard so many times, "see, you haven't progressed much in ________," or "you haven't changed a bit."  Hell, if two years pass by and only I see an increment of progress of .01%, my job as cheerleader is to celebrate that growth.  Yes, THAT .01% growth.  

We take for granted our ability to walk.  We take for granted our uprightness.  Unless someone has a debilitating medical condition, being upright and walking is the norm.  Even with debilitating medical conditions, some people are determined and succeed in standing upright and walk against conventional odds.  We expect it from every human born on this planet.  Yet when it comes to skills that takes time to develop, nurture, grow, we begin to categorize "natural talent," as opposed to "not meant to be." What's worse is for the most part we buy into that lie.  We accept it.  

Imagine learning a new skill, pursuing a lifelong dream, taking a class and the people closest to you are around you in the exact same state of being as they were when you were learning how to walk and talk at age 1.  Would you be more encouraged to study/practice/persist?  How much of a difference it is to hear, "it's OK, get back up now, you can do it" versus "give it up already?"  

So from 1999 to now, I've relentlessly pursued acting almost full time.  From humble beginnings at East West Players Summer Conservatory not being able in differentiating "stage right" from "right," to currently receiving a call from my agent telling me "you have a booking, and the pay is XYZ,"  I've fallen many times, often flat on my face with no cheerleader within range.  Nowadays, the phone is silent and I now wonder if my agent remembers me at all.  The crossroad is ahead of me and I see many splits on the road.  I've fallen and tumbled flat on my face last October 2012, and I'm STILL dusting myself off.  

Yet I'll learn to cheer myself on.  Cheer that I've dusted my bloody face, placed some wrappings and stopped the bleeding.  Cheer that I am able to take one step.  Cheer for the breath I'm taking now.  Will I still pursue the acting?  Don't know.  However I know I'll be back up and if the only cheerleader around is me, consider it practice for you.  At least you know I have the experience.  

A Heartbreaking 49ers SB Defeat

I am someone who grew up in Oakland, California who followed the Raiders and A's as a small child, ATTEMPTED to follow the 49ers during adolescent years when the Raiders were in LA, and who resumed fanship of the Raiders during their final years in LA and with their return to Oakland.

First off, let me explain my attempt of following the 49ers during my adolescent period: several years had already passed for the LA Raiders existence, and this was the second appearance of the 49ers in the Super Bowl.  Oakland was going through a minor resurgence in the downtown area as their newly built 5 Star Hyatt hosted the visiting Miami Dolphins when the Super Bowl was being played at Stanford.  I was about 13 or 14 at that time.  When the 49ers won their second SB victory, my jr high mates and I BART'd to San Francisco for the victory parade.  At one point Wendell Tyler, the running back was reaching out to the crowd, was close enough to our group while we gave him a "#1 salute" (real one, not the middle)  At one point he was like "where y'all from" and we replied "Oakland" and he jokingly was like "all man" and kinda did like a "sweep away" with his hands and moved along to the crowd.  At that point I decided that there was no NFL team for me to root for.  Those following years until the Raiders return I didn't follow football much until a girl I was dating had an admiration for this "new receiver named Rice."  I then started to follow the Niners briefly during that time and attempted to "emulate" Rice's look. That include getting the same earring, working out at Gold's Gym (didn't know where he worked out, I just knew I needed to 'hit the gym') and at that time wore those fitness/biker's lycra shorts. (SHUT UP)  Driving across the Bay Bridge during bumper to bumper aftermath of 49er games in a car decorated with various Raiders gear can be challenging in the 90s.  When the Raiders were originally slated to return to Oakland in 1990, but didn't, I dealt with the gloating and chastising from 9er fans.  When I attended a church service in 2001 after attending the AFC Championship game in Oakland, I had to deal with the praise and worship team leader declaring, "I'm a 49ers fan and God is good cause he kept the losers of the Bay Area to remain losers."  I found myself praying for a mass church shooting that night. 

So fast forward to the "here and now."  Listening to the radio call-in shows, seeing the different Facebook and Twitter updates and hearing directly from friends and contacts on both sides have been disheartening.  First off, as someone who wears his Oakland heritage on both his heart and sleeve, and as someone who religiously follows the whereabouts of the Raiders, let me go on record that I REFUSE TO refer to the 49ers community as "Whiners, ect."  Yes, as a Raiders fan I admit that I was bracing for an onslaught of fanfare and euphoria of a local 49ers victory while out here in Raiderland there's so much "Oakland can't support the team, move them to a better place like LA" talk.  Actually the current turn of events and overall perception of Oakland has been disheartening altogether.  Secondly, let me also go on record that I will NOT gloat at this recent defeat.  I'd like to make a few points:

1) I know that there were AT LEAST 2 key components of the 49ers SB team yesterday that folks from the Raider Nation wanted badly: HC Jim Harbaugh and QB Colin Kapaernick, myself included. 

2) If given a choice between appearing in this weekends Super Bowl versus our actual 2012 record of 4-12, which would you choose? 

3) I've experienced the exact same emotional sense of disappointment before as the Niner fans are experiencing now.  It was wrong for people to gloat and celebrate when I was going through that disappointing experience, therefore it's wrong for me to do the same when someone else goes through something similar. 

4) REAL WINNERS NEVER celebrate a defeat of anyone, including their own opponents.  I'm from a traditional martial arts background, and learning the history and tradition of various schools, sects, styles showed me that masters were held in high regards not because of their accomplishments, but how they assisted their own opponents. 

Lastly, I've been studying various forms of metaphysics and a consistent point made is the inter-connectedness of everyone.  Society declines anytime people buy into the myth of separateness and splinters out into factions.  Society tends to accomplish more anytime the emphasis is on unity.  When the Niners were in the NFC game two weeks back, I held my breath of the possibility that they'd win and participate in the Super Bowl, which they did.  I knew how much of the potential this situation could create conflicting factions as a result of appearing in the SB, and right now emotions are high, raw and words are firing in all directions now that the SB is over. 

Look at the overall picture: The Super Bowl has not reached a 50 year history mark yet.  The Bay Area has collected 7 Lombardi trophies in 47 years.  (No, I'm NOT including that last Super Bowl Lombardi the Raiders won in 84, sorry)  This region has had10 appearances in the Super Bowl in the 47 years.  (6 appearances for 49ers, 4 for the OAKLAND Raiders)  Basically 1 out of every 5 Super Bowls in the entire history of Super Bowls, a team from the San Francisco Bay Area has appeared in it.  Face it Bay Area, we're spoiled in the least. 

So process this Super Bowl, show some love for yourself and each other, and prosper.