Monday, June 20, 2011

Belong To Whom?

If there was ever a common thread in regards to my pursuits: involvement with martial arts/lion dancing, acting and theater, personal development, spiritual development I would have to say that common denominator (besides ME) would be the sense of belonging.

Let me rephrase that. The PERCEPTION of a sense of belonging.

Just because I'm a part of something doesn't necessarily indicate that I belong to any of the organizations I participate in. At some point, I felt the need TO belong. I was under the impression that in order to thrive within my pursuits, I needed to belong.

I didn't.

Once again the need to belong anywhere and everywhere involves a "gatekeeper." Even if I were a part of a family, there exists a family member "gatekeeper" who determines whether or not you "belong" to that family. I was adopted to a family in Oakland California. Whether or not I truly "belonged" to that family is another story. Was I loved by members of my family? Absolutely. I miss my maternal grandparents and I do what I can to remember them. My mother? Yes. Being loved by members of your family doesn't determine whether or not you truly "belonged" to that family.

After all, they're family.

I often found myself crossing paths with like-minded folks searching for a sense of belonging. At times we accepted each others' company and companionship and provided that sense. Sometimes we eventually find that "home" where we feel we belong to. As for the organizations I worked with in the past and still continue to work with, that sense of belonging fluctuates in time and in different situation as warranted.

Contacted an energy healer recently. First thing that came out of her mouth as soon as I entered the space.

LET GO of needing to belong. Do that by acknowledging that you're already inter-connected with each other and with God

Light bulb went illuminated in my mental head. It wasn't so much of my need to "belong" anywhere as it was that I suffered from amnesia. I forgot that I'm connected with everyone. Then again it's easy to forget, isn't it?

We cut each other off the road while driving and doing the "one finger wave."

We judge each other according to what the other wears...

...or what someone does for a living.

...or who someone voted for.

What victim would like to remind themselves that they're inter-connected to their respected perpetrator?

But we are. We are created that way in that Grand Scheme of Things.

This isn't a lesson on "how to connect," because we already connect. All the time 24/7. This is more of "how can I feel connected when I don't feel like I belong?"

First off, let go of belonging. That's external, out there, it "victimizes" because that sense of belonging is predicated on the action and attitudes of others.

Secondly, "FIRE" YOUR GATEKEEPER. Did you know you had one? That's the one who focuses on "s/he doesn't belong in OUR group," or "I don't belong here." The gate keeper's has one purpose: to distract you from the fact that you're connected.

Third, in figuring out how you're connected to someone you least feel connected to, look for what bothers you most about him or her. Then look at how you share that same quality. Do the same in finding what you admire about them. If you spot it, you got it!

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