It should be no surprise to anyone who reads my blogs on a regular basis that I've been mainly on hiatus or as my friends would declare, "MIA." It was no accident. The truth to the matter is that I have not been sharing ideas lately.
I simply didn't feel like my ideas would make any sort of significant positive difference.
I didn't want to bother.
While nursing a back injury and not being able to workout and do my physical activities that I enjoy doing, I began to feel self conscious.
My routine consisted of resting my injured back, and if I was lucky enough to be able to walk that day, find my way to Philz Coffee, grab my java, and sat in the back of the corner and read.
What did I read?
Lots of stuff from the New Thought pioneers. I'm a stickler about tracing "roots" of topics that I'm fascinated with. When I began that trek on personal development during my college years, I was only exposed to Napoleon Hill's book Thank and Grow Rich. A lot of the "Self Help" authors, inspirational and wealth seminar instructors all were influenced by the work of the early New Thought pioneers. New Thought got a "bad name," because 1) they were changing the status quo by questioning the then current practices and dogmas of the mainstream Christian churches and 2) their works were often misused as a means to create material wealth and business success.
As inspiring as the work they printed, I was largely unaffected and still within my dark corner. It was not the most easiest period to go through. The auditions and the work seemed to dry up, and I was unable to find work within a more routine setting. Add to that my current physical condition, and I was dangling from a single-layered inspirational thread.
Not that the coffee DIDN'T have caffeine.
There was simply no purpose or direction that I was able to come away with. The books and the authors often repeated in one way or another, "be still and follow your instinct." Yet after several futile attempts, I concluded my instincts soul purpose was to pull pranks and practical jokes on me.
For example, during a silent meditation in the morning, the thought "goldfish market" came to mind. Throughout that afternoon, I sacrificed my reading and java time to visit three aquariums. I left the third aquarium scratching my head in the most utmost confusion. What was the f*cking point to all this? I did my best to "follow inspiration and instinct," yet at the end of the day, I was really regretting not drinking my coffee for the day.
Does anyone really want me to blog about that crap? So sorry I haven't shared much. As stated, I'm sparing my public. I mean why would I blog about going to the aquariums to look at goldfish and leaving in a state of confusion because there was simply no point in going to the damn aquarium in the first place.
I'd type away about lion dance, however I've only participated in the capacity of the percussion section this past month. Nothing to see, nothing exciting. I could rant and rave about drumming onstage with inexperienced cymbal players who didn't play worth a damn, but if anyone was there, their ears would've figured THAT out. It's pointless to dwell on it. If anything about my back dilemma, it's a reminder that "retirement" from actually playing the lion is rapidly approaching, and that may NOT be such a bad thing after all. I'm at an age where I should be watching my little ones learn the fundamentals of the art.
Which leads me to the next thought. I know it'll be a challenge to grow up as my children, especially if they too yearn to perform. I'll be harping on practice, foundation, technique, practice, foundation, technique until their ears bleed. They'll most likely NOT want me to watch any shows with them. I tend to pick it apart.
I miss acting. It's not like I'm not pursuing it, it's more like I haven't really delved deep into a character's role in over a year. It's that studying the script and doing crazy fun exercises in digging deeper about his motives, objectives, thought patterns, attitude, hopes, dreams, even fears.
I keep on saying about my vision in creating this space: physical space with the purpose of creating connection, inspire, feed all mind body and soul, and express artistically. I handpicked three main locations to establish such a space: Oakland, Singapore, and a location TBA in Southeast Asia. Oakland because that place is so special though the mediots and the inhabitants may not realize the specialness. Singapore because from a spiritual standpoint, a space that shares the message of Divine unity with God and each other is so lacking there. As for the third location, I'm bouncing in-between Malaysia and the Philippines.
So yeah, this is what I contemplate during a rut...
Friday, September 23, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
I Remember
September 11, 2001
It was my first experience working on a live stage production in the capacity as both a supporting role and as the assistant director. I was warned of "Hell Week" which is what cast and crew refer to as tech week. I was unprepared to the reality that "Hell Week" became literal.
Early Tuesday morning I was awakened by an incoherent voicemail sent by my director. I did not understand anything he said except of the possibility of local San Francisco landmarks possibly getting attacked, and the final statement of "tonight will be business as usual, the show must go on. We'll work on lighting and scene transitions tonight. Make sure the entire cast is present." Afterwards, I received a couple of frantic voicemail and text messages from Singapore making sure my immediate family and myself were fine.
Confused, I turned the television on and saw images of the first plane slamming into the World Trade Center. I changed channels and saw that EVERY channel including MTV and ESPN was showing footage. My initial response was "what the f***???" Later on, images of the Pentagon and a vacant field where two other plane crashed appeared. It really felt like a science fiction movie. My next immediate thought was "I hope to Hell that whoever did this isn't Asian."
I was not born when Japan attacked Pearl Harbor, nor when Kennedy, Malcolm X, or Martin Luther King was assassinated. I joined a protest after the verdict of the Rodney King trail chanting "No Justice, No Peace." I was never prepared for the depth and magnitude 911 created for the entire world.
People who were around during the times of the assassinations of King, Kennedy, and X stated and concluded "things were never the same since then." In my lifetime echos of the same sentiment were loudly declared following September 11, 2001. It's been declared that "we could never go back."
Were we supposed to "go back," and if so, "go back where?" We were never meant to "go back" even if the events of 911 never occurred. So I ask ten years later, "go back to where?"
Do we want to "go back" to the days of our day to day living without color security codes?
Do we want to "go back" to minimal security lines when traveling via air?
Do we want to "go back" to being able to pick up loved ones directly from the gates upon arrival?
Me too.
Ten years later, I ask this question: "why NOT?" Who says we can't go back? We made emotional statements in the aftermath, "the terrorist can't and won't win. Freedom and Love will."
To me, when we "go back" I'll chalk that up as evidence that terrorism "lost."
I've stated this over the past ten years. The War on Terror is not a war we're meant to win. At least not by the way we're fighting it. The so called enemy is not a country, race or religion. It was and always been a state of mind within humanity. When it's humanity, that means it includes you and me. We are also not utilizing the right artillery in this battle either. The best weapon is love. Not the Kumbaya kind of love, not the love we declare when we're horny, not even the love that's used in a term or greeting like "Jesus loves you."
This kind of love is when you're able to look into the eyes of another person regardless of race, religion, gender, sexual orientation and be able to simultaneously see the image and reflection of two beings: yourself and God. That's the love that'll lead the victory march against terror.
Please start now. Ten more years is too long of a time to wait.
It was my first experience working on a live stage production in the capacity as both a supporting role and as the assistant director. I was warned of "Hell Week" which is what cast and crew refer to as tech week. I was unprepared to the reality that "Hell Week" became literal.
Early Tuesday morning I was awakened by an incoherent voicemail sent by my director. I did not understand anything he said except of the possibility of local San Francisco landmarks possibly getting attacked, and the final statement of "tonight will be business as usual, the show must go on. We'll work on lighting and scene transitions tonight. Make sure the entire cast is present." Afterwards, I received a couple of frantic voicemail and text messages from Singapore making sure my immediate family and myself were fine.
Confused, I turned the television on and saw images of the first plane slamming into the World Trade Center. I changed channels and saw that EVERY channel including MTV and ESPN was showing footage. My initial response was "what the f***???" Later on, images of the Pentagon and a vacant field where two other plane crashed appeared. It really felt like a science fiction movie. My next immediate thought was "I hope to Hell that whoever did this isn't Asian."
I was not born when Japan attacked Pearl Harbor, nor when Kennedy, Malcolm X, or Martin Luther King was assassinated. I joined a protest after the verdict of the Rodney King trail chanting "No Justice, No Peace." I was never prepared for the depth and magnitude 911 created for the entire world.
People who were around during the times of the assassinations of King, Kennedy, and X stated and concluded "things were never the same since then." In my lifetime echos of the same sentiment were loudly declared following September 11, 2001. It's been declared that "we could never go back."
Were we supposed to "go back," and if so, "go back where?" We were never meant to "go back" even if the events of 911 never occurred. So I ask ten years later, "go back to where?"
Do we want to "go back" to the days of our day to day living without color security codes?
Do we want to "go back" to minimal security lines when traveling via air?
Do we want to "go back" to being able to pick up loved ones directly from the gates upon arrival?
Me too.
Ten years later, I ask this question: "why NOT?" Who says we can't go back? We made emotional statements in the aftermath, "the terrorist can't and won't win. Freedom and Love will."
To me, when we "go back" I'll chalk that up as evidence that terrorism "lost."
I've stated this over the past ten years. The War on Terror is not a war we're meant to win. At least not by the way we're fighting it. The so called enemy is not a country, race or religion. It was and always been a state of mind within humanity. When it's humanity, that means it includes you and me. We are also not utilizing the right artillery in this battle either. The best weapon is love. Not the Kumbaya kind of love, not the love we declare when we're horny, not even the love that's used in a term or greeting like "Jesus loves you."
This kind of love is when you're able to look into the eyes of another person regardless of race, religion, gender, sexual orientation and be able to simultaneously see the image and reflection of two beings: yourself and God. That's the love that'll lead the victory march against terror.
Please start now. Ten more years is too long of a time to wait.
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