Will someone please wake me up after this election is over, please. If there's anything I've observed this past Election Year is how much this country lacks critical thinking skills. If my education level was considered "sub-standard," I'm highly highly terrified about the level of education this younger generation has access to. Then again, ranting about education and the current state of education is really another topic to tackle at a latter time.
Actually a little more on the topic of education:
Call me a conspiracy theorist, but this whole "No Child Left Behind" program to me was a plot to deprive current and future generations access to imperative skills needed for life: Leadership skills which includes critical thinking. If we create or revamp the education system into something based upon subjective test scores and revolve around the results of those scores, wouldn't the opportunity to develop one's self into a well-rounded individual be less prevalent? EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE needs to develop leadership skills. As a current member of my high school's alumni board of directors, (and as VP) I inquired about what was taught at the "Leadership" class and who was able to have access to the class. I found the answer to be quite disturbing. Students who are heavily involved in student government make up about the majority of the class. I pointed out to the teacher that leadership skills MUST be taught to ALL students; not just those serving on student government.
Going back to the upcoming election, I'm ranting and raving again about our inept political system. In my opinion, the current system IS broken, and IT NEEDS TO BE DESPERATELY REVAMPED. I reside in California where there are at least 5-7 Presidential tickets to choose from, yet the news, media, and debate only covers TWO candidates. The public is now tricked into thinking that they can only pick between the two.
Ever play that game where you're given a choice between Option A and Option B where each option offers a benefit and an undesired result simultaneously? Normally the kid who doesn't want to respond would reply "neither choices" or "I choose C" to which the other kid who initiated the game goes, "NO, YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN A OR B." What made it more disgusting was the fact that one of my adult Bible study group would often play that game. In a lot of ways this is how our upcoming election is presented. People who refuse to vote for A or B would be ostracized, being accused of "wasting their vote." It's been twelve years already, and Democrats still hold a grudge against the Green Party, accusing them of "costing" Al Gore the election. In 2008, I ranted about how all the publicity on the "1st Black Presidential Candidate" vs the "1st Female Presidential Candidate" was inaccurate since the 2008 Green Party's Presidential Candidate was Cynthia McKinney who is a female of African American descent. Yet, very few people knew who Cynthia McKinney was that year. On top of that, she served Congress longer than Barack Obama.
Now this election year, the Green Party candidate was arrested at the site of the 2nd Presidential Debate all because she wanted to be included in the debate. Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson was entered as an American Elect candidate for one of the states and was denied though the Americans Elect organization collected and filed enough signatures. Yet one of their 1st debates was via some online crappy conference call while the other debates between "Candidates A and B" was covered on all the major networks.
So this so-called "wasting votes" is by design.
One of my former professor, Froben Lozada was asked by my classmate to differentiate between "left wing and right wing." Lozada sarcastically told us that he was going to write the name of the example of "left wing." (He wrote "Ronald Reagan" on the board) The class was somewhat confused as Reagan was considered a "conservative moderate" then. Lozada then told us he was going to give us an example of "right wing." (He wrote Reagan's name down again) At that point, Lozada switched topics to sports.
I'm paraphrasing Lozada from memory since this was almost 20 years ago:
So it doesn't matter whether its baseball, or football, or basketball, especially in professional sports. They're all under the same umbrella of their respected leagues. The owners of the teams figured out that a rivalry will sell more tickets. The league knows that a rivalry sells more tickets, so they too encourage that rivalry. The more intense the rivalry is, the more money is to be made. Now if we change league to AmeriKKKan (his emphasis to spell it with "KKK") politics, and Democratic and Republican Parties to "Team Democrats," and "Team Republicans," do you not see a rivalry to sell more tickets? In this case, to pick a "winner" and to raise campaign money.
In Malcolm X's Autobiography, he was asked about one of the elections and he likened the election process to choosing whether to be maimed by a fox vs being maimed by a wolf. (This was written in 1962, FIFTY YEARS AGO!!!)
A short while back, one of the automakers was in negotiation with the State of Wisconsin to build an assembly plant. During the negotiations they were offered financial incentives, corporate and business tax breaks. Yet at the end of it all, the company opted to open their plant in Canada because their study concluded that the cost in educating and training the workforce in Wisconsin exceeds the financial incentives offered. That is the testimony of the current state of public education in this country.
Yet both Candidates A and B are promising jobs if they're nominated as President. The most logical question to ask next is "what kind of jobs?" We hear buzzwords like "innovation," and "forefront" and "frontrunner," but is the education system built to prepare people to create an industry to live up to those labels? A year ago when I purchased a pizza, i was charged $21.30 and had a $100 bill with me. I gave the young lady $101.30 to her expecting $80. Instead she gave me $78.70, contemplated with the $1.30 which eventually in confusion and disgust literally threw back at me. I wanted to ask her which school she graduated from so I knew that if and when I had kids to not enroll them there. And that's just for basic cashiering. It's scary to think of that same lady working on something like alternative energy.
So for this election if you hadn't already submit your vote, I plead whole-heartedly, please use your inner-leadership skills and take the time to research each candidate presented on your ballot. Who knows, you may actually find a candidate that's more of a fit to your own personal ideology. And contrary to what other pundits may say, it is NOT a "wasted vote."
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Separate and Incomplete
Who would've known that in this day and age of the post-Civil Rights Movement, this society has gotten more and more separated and disconnected. Let's say we're about two generations into a post-Civil Rights Movement society. It seems that there appears to be more separation and disconnection in this day and age.
Now, I'm not going to be going into the whole inter-ethnic, inter-racial tension amongst all the various ethnic groups within the greater American society. If anything, my personal theory is that the inter-racial, inter-ethnic tensions amongst differing groups is merely a symptom of what I'm about to share.
I joke around that the former largest book retailer is at fault. (Border's) All the different categories of books and separated and marketed accordingly. Now that is for the convenience of the consumer who's shopping and looking for a specific book. My question is that have we become a society who has over-compartmentalized to the detriment of humanity? In the case of categorizing books, it makes sense to store and present accordingly in order to enable the shopper to find what book they're looking for.
In other words, do we separate and categorize more than we should?
Like people?
Or even differing aspects and facets of people?
I'm a book nerd. I'll admit it. I have yet to own a Nook or an iPad. I have downloaded a handful of out of print books on PDF files to my lappy. I'm just not used to reading off a screen, so I have a preference for actual books. One of the few bookstores in San Francisco is Green Apple. They carry a large amount of out of print books. They have categories and sub-categories. The books I've been looking for are those that tend to overlap-categorically. I can go back and forth to like 7 different categorical sections in the store just to look for one title, and since their selection of used books are not inventoried, it's not like the staff could type up the title or author. So basically, I can get lost and dizzy looking for a book. That's just a book. To put it simply, I can get lost and dizzy looking for a specific item composed of paper and ink. Yet, we know there's much more to the paper and ink which what makes each book unique.
People are even much more complicated than that.
Online marketing, global economy, and marketing demographics has created more and more categories to place a person. It makes things easier for advertisers and marketing departments in order to maximize the advertising dollar.
Like a pharmaceutical drug, there are side-effects. Yes a pharmaceutical drug can benefit the user for a specific symptom and/or need with a likely risk of side effects that comes along with taking it. Likewise this whole concept of breaking society and humanity down to demographics and categories, while benefiting the global market, has a side effect detrimental to humanity.
We're losing our wholeness. Actually it's not so much that our wholeness is lost. In all honesty, we can never lose our wholeness. It's more of a lack of acknowledgment and validation of our wholeness that's missing. We don't acknowledge our own wholeness, we don't acknowledge others and their wholeness, while conversely they don't acknowledge ours.
And that's what I mean as racial and ethnic tensions within society being symptomatic. Lack of acknowledgement on others' wholeness based on their racial and ethnic makeup. During the Civil Rights Era, there were two main camps vying for a voice on how to achieve racial equality: one was for unconditional integration and the other was a proponent for creating a separate self-sufficient community. As someone who completed his undergrad degree in Ethnic Studies, I've heard both arguments and I can see validity on both arguments.
But let's look at it from a much closer view: Not acknowledging our own wholeness creates unnecessary stress, takes a toll on our health, and becomes an obstacles to our endeavors. Going back to book shopping in the bookstore, I was looking for a book about healthy living, but because of the notoriety of the author, I had to look at the sections of psychology, metaphysics, religious theory, and even economics in addition to the health section. The thing was, that book addressed every aspect of living: spirituality, health, finances, relationships, and psychology. In other words, it was a book about wholeness. Yet, there was no such section or category on wholeness at the bookstore.
Now, I'm not going to be going into the whole inter-ethnic, inter-racial tension amongst all the various ethnic groups within the greater American society. If anything, my personal theory is that the inter-racial, inter-ethnic tensions amongst differing groups is merely a symptom of what I'm about to share.
I joke around that the former largest book retailer is at fault. (Border's) All the different categories of books and separated and marketed accordingly. Now that is for the convenience of the consumer who's shopping and looking for a specific book. My question is that have we become a society who has over-compartmentalized to the detriment of humanity? In the case of categorizing books, it makes sense to store and present accordingly in order to enable the shopper to find what book they're looking for.
In other words, do we separate and categorize more than we should?
Like people?
Or even differing aspects and facets of people?
I'm a book nerd. I'll admit it. I have yet to own a Nook or an iPad. I have downloaded a handful of out of print books on PDF files to my lappy. I'm just not used to reading off a screen, so I have a preference for actual books. One of the few bookstores in San Francisco is Green Apple. They carry a large amount of out of print books. They have categories and sub-categories. The books I've been looking for are those that tend to overlap-categorically. I can go back and forth to like 7 different categorical sections in the store just to look for one title, and since their selection of used books are not inventoried, it's not like the staff could type up the title or author. So basically, I can get lost and dizzy looking for a book. That's just a book. To put it simply, I can get lost and dizzy looking for a specific item composed of paper and ink. Yet, we know there's much more to the paper and ink which what makes each book unique.
People are even much more complicated than that.
Online marketing, global economy, and marketing demographics has created more and more categories to place a person. It makes things easier for advertisers and marketing departments in order to maximize the advertising dollar.
Like a pharmaceutical drug, there are side-effects. Yes a pharmaceutical drug can benefit the user for a specific symptom and/or need with a likely risk of side effects that comes along with taking it. Likewise this whole concept of breaking society and humanity down to demographics and categories, while benefiting the global market, has a side effect detrimental to humanity.
We're losing our wholeness. Actually it's not so much that our wholeness is lost. In all honesty, we can never lose our wholeness. It's more of a lack of acknowledgment and validation of our wholeness that's missing. We don't acknowledge our own wholeness, we don't acknowledge others and their wholeness, while conversely they don't acknowledge ours.
And that's what I mean as racial and ethnic tensions within society being symptomatic. Lack of acknowledgement on others' wholeness based on their racial and ethnic makeup. During the Civil Rights Era, there were two main camps vying for a voice on how to achieve racial equality: one was for unconditional integration and the other was a proponent for creating a separate self-sufficient community. As someone who completed his undergrad degree in Ethnic Studies, I've heard both arguments and I can see validity on both arguments.
But let's look at it from a much closer view: Not acknowledging our own wholeness creates unnecessary stress, takes a toll on our health, and becomes an obstacles to our endeavors. Going back to book shopping in the bookstore, I was looking for a book about healthy living, but because of the notoriety of the author, I had to look at the sections of psychology, metaphysics, religious theory, and even economics in addition to the health section. The thing was, that book addressed every aspect of living: spirituality, health, finances, relationships, and psychology. In other words, it was a book about wholeness. Yet, there was no such section or category on wholeness at the bookstore.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
My Confession
Today is July 10, 2012 at 6am PST. Normally I'm asleep until 9am after going to bed around 2 or 3am. I awoke at 4:48am this morning after going to bed around 2:30am. In other words, I barely had about 2 hours of sleep.
Since 1999, I pursued acting on every possible level: from audition notices on Backstage West, to Craigslist, to CSU Hayward Theater department and everything in-between. I did not call myself as a "professional actor" until I was actually paid for my performance on some commercial karaoke videos in 2001. I was cast in my 1st local commercial at the end of 2003, and my first lead role on a stage production in 2004. I "peaked" when I was cast as one of the leads on the independent film So Beauty. That was in 2005. During the filming, my mom passed away literally 20 minutes before call time. Since that point, I've struggled with ease and confidence on productions, auditions, even promotional events. Though I landed an agent based out of the San Francisco Bay Area in 2010, nothing had been handed to me easily.
On a personal level, my last relationship ended in the summer of 2004, and I went on my first date since that summer in July 2006. It didn't go too well. I dated again in the spring of 2007, and once again, it didn't go too well. It was disastrous enough that I sought out a personal development coach. I attended one of his retreats during my birthday week in the end of August. That was the start of my personal development journey.
In March 2008, I took The Basic Seminar, offered from PSI Seminars. That course enabled me to piece together my acting training, the personal development course I took in 2007, the sales and personal development courses I took during my 1st stint as a college student during the 1990s, and my church experience. I took all the following advanced courses offered by them. One of the unique benefits as a graduate is the opportunity to re-attend the Basic course at no charge, so I was able to review the elements of the class up to the present day. In the fall, PSI offers an advance course/convention called Principia where guest speakers are invited to teach. I attended the event in 2008, 09, 10, and 2011.
More recently in 2011, I made a spiritual transition of leaving the more mainstream evangelical form of Christianity and embraced what is considered "New Thought," which has been labeled as "Practical Christianity," "Spiritual," "Science of Mind," "Metaphysics Christianity," "Religious Science," "Unity" "Truth."
Yet, I have a confession to make.
With all that experience and new insights and achievements over the past 5 years, there is still an inner struggle I deal with day in and day out.
My "I AM" statement.
Personal development and New Thought really has an overlapping concept of the "I AM" theory. Not only is it a foundational spiritual statement. (In the Bible, God's "name" is Hebrew form of "I AM") In other words, an "I AM" statement is basically a self declaration belief about ourselves, and our concept of God simultaneously. So when I say, "I AM _____," I'm saying that I am this, AND my concept/belief about God (Divine, Universe, Infinite Intelligence, Allah, ect) is this.
An "I AM" statement can be empowering or it can be limiting.
My "I AM" statement(s) falls in the "latter" category.
In 1999, Crosswinds Church began a "post-modern, college, young career/family" ministry called "The Sanctuary." It was an evening service aimed for young adults and "the young at heart." That's when I befriended Peter Sleeper, who was the newly hired Executive Pastor of Crosswinds. He and I met on a regular basis, and he recommended a home study course by a Dr Eckman about identifying the "Sonship of God," and claiming yourself as the rightful Child of God. It was during that study when I came to the conclusion that I could never be a Child of God. I'm not, wasn't, and would never be.
"I AM God's mistake."
You see, I was placed for adoption even before I was born. Not only did I have the legal documentation to confirm that, I met my biological mother face-to-face who told me herself. I spent my childhood growing up with four main messages:
1) I was a mistake by my "real" parents.
2) I can or will be returned to the adoption agency if I didn't live up to standards.
3) Every family negative situation was MY fault. (I was often blamed for my parents health issues, my father's alcoholism, and for my younger cousin's misbehavior)
4) I was lovingly "chosen."
Yes, that 4th message did contradict the other three messages. It's funny about the "chosen" message and the fact that I "chose" a profession where I present myself to be "chosen" by casting directors, producers, ect. Bear in mind, the "lovingly chosen" was a mild form of manipulation of the expectation of gratitude I needed to openly express to the family who poured their heart and soul into raising me.
So this journey of the last 4-5 years was about letting go of a false "I AM" statement about myself as a "mistake," but I recently discovered a corollary "I AM" statement that was just as strong as the one I was dealing with.
"I AM worthless."
That tends to sabotage and cancels out a lot of intentions I've set and developed over the last few years. It not only undermines my financial and career goals, it also sabotages any sort of relationship goals.
Don't ask me what I am going to do about those beliefs, for I have just come to the realization of the 2nd one and it has surfaced very recently. I need to process what has been brought to my attention. I have a list of request to ask in support of the recent discovery:
1) Please don't demand that I "get over it." That only places additional pressure.
2) Please don't tell me to "not feel that way." How about if I tell you to NOT think about the pink elephant.
3) Sometimes your presence is worth more than the words you attempt to say. If I'm at a state of feeling and am not saying much, you need to say even less.
4) Don't let my smile fool you. I am an actor after all.
5) I acknowledge your Divinity, please acknowledge mine. In other words, let God reveal to me that those two "I AM" statements are not true. I know that already on an intellectual level. It needs to sink, root, and plant in the depth of my heart.
I am thankful for the support I've received over the years, the miracles that showed me differently, and tools I've learned to overcome such beliefs.
But I just need time. Time to process. Time to reflect. Time to let God show me the errors of my way.
Thank you in advance.
Since 1999, I pursued acting on every possible level: from audition notices on Backstage West, to Craigslist, to CSU Hayward Theater department and everything in-between. I did not call myself as a "professional actor" until I was actually paid for my performance on some commercial karaoke videos in 2001. I was cast in my 1st local commercial at the end of 2003, and my first lead role on a stage production in 2004. I "peaked" when I was cast as one of the leads on the independent film So Beauty. That was in 2005. During the filming, my mom passed away literally 20 minutes before call time. Since that point, I've struggled with ease and confidence on productions, auditions, even promotional events. Though I landed an agent based out of the San Francisco Bay Area in 2010, nothing had been handed to me easily.
On a personal level, my last relationship ended in the summer of 2004, and I went on my first date since that summer in July 2006. It didn't go too well. I dated again in the spring of 2007, and once again, it didn't go too well. It was disastrous enough that I sought out a personal development coach. I attended one of his retreats during my birthday week in the end of August. That was the start of my personal development journey.
In March 2008, I took The Basic Seminar, offered from PSI Seminars. That course enabled me to piece together my acting training, the personal development course I took in 2007, the sales and personal development courses I took during my 1st stint as a college student during the 1990s, and my church experience. I took all the following advanced courses offered by them. One of the unique benefits as a graduate is the opportunity to re-attend the Basic course at no charge, so I was able to review the elements of the class up to the present day. In the fall, PSI offers an advance course/convention called Principia where guest speakers are invited to teach. I attended the event in 2008, 09, 10, and 2011.
More recently in 2011, I made a spiritual transition of leaving the more mainstream evangelical form of Christianity and embraced what is considered "New Thought," which has been labeled as "Practical Christianity," "Spiritual," "Science of Mind," "Metaphysics Christianity," "Religious Science," "Unity" "Truth."
Yet, I have a confession to make.
With all that experience and new insights and achievements over the past 5 years, there is still an inner struggle I deal with day in and day out.
My "I AM" statement.
Personal development and New Thought really has an overlapping concept of the "I AM" theory. Not only is it a foundational spiritual statement. (In the Bible, God's "name" is Hebrew form of "I AM") In other words, an "I AM" statement is basically a self declaration belief about ourselves, and our concept of God simultaneously. So when I say, "I AM _____," I'm saying that I am this, AND my concept/belief about God (Divine, Universe, Infinite Intelligence, Allah, ect) is this.
An "I AM" statement can be empowering or it can be limiting.
My "I AM" statement(s) falls in the "latter" category.
In 1999, Crosswinds Church began a "post-modern, college, young career/family" ministry called "The Sanctuary." It was an evening service aimed for young adults and "the young at heart." That's when I befriended Peter Sleeper, who was the newly hired Executive Pastor of Crosswinds. He and I met on a regular basis, and he recommended a home study course by a Dr Eckman about identifying the "Sonship of God," and claiming yourself as the rightful Child of God. It was during that study when I came to the conclusion that I could never be a Child of God. I'm not, wasn't, and would never be.
"I AM God's mistake."
You see, I was placed for adoption even before I was born. Not only did I have the legal documentation to confirm that, I met my biological mother face-to-face who told me herself. I spent my childhood growing up with four main messages:
1) I was a mistake by my "real" parents.
2) I can or will be returned to the adoption agency if I didn't live up to standards.
3) Every family negative situation was MY fault. (I was often blamed for my parents health issues, my father's alcoholism, and for my younger cousin's misbehavior)
4) I was lovingly "chosen."
Yes, that 4th message did contradict the other three messages. It's funny about the "chosen" message and the fact that I "chose" a profession where I present myself to be "chosen" by casting directors, producers, ect. Bear in mind, the "lovingly chosen" was a mild form of manipulation of the expectation of gratitude I needed to openly express to the family who poured their heart and soul into raising me.
So this journey of the last 4-5 years was about letting go of a false "I AM" statement about myself as a "mistake," but I recently discovered a corollary "I AM" statement that was just as strong as the one I was dealing with.
"I AM worthless."
That tends to sabotage and cancels out a lot of intentions I've set and developed over the last few years. It not only undermines my financial and career goals, it also sabotages any sort of relationship goals.
Don't ask me what I am going to do about those beliefs, for I have just come to the realization of the 2nd one and it has surfaced very recently. I need to process what has been brought to my attention. I have a list of request to ask in support of the recent discovery:
1) Please don't demand that I "get over it." That only places additional pressure.
2) Please don't tell me to "not feel that way." How about if I tell you to NOT think about the pink elephant.
3) Sometimes your presence is worth more than the words you attempt to say. If I'm at a state of feeling and am not saying much, you need to say even less.
4) Don't let my smile fool you. I am an actor after all.
5) I acknowledge your Divinity, please acknowledge mine. In other words, let God reveal to me that those two "I AM" statements are not true. I know that already on an intellectual level. It needs to sink, root, and plant in the depth of my heart.
I am thankful for the support I've received over the years, the miracles that showed me differently, and tools I've learned to overcome such beliefs.
But I just need time. Time to process. Time to reflect. Time to let God show me the errors of my way.
Thank you in advance.
Monday, April 30, 2012
An Open Letter to Mayor Jean Quan, City of Oakland, CA
Dear Mayor Quan:
I'm sure you have received a "gazzilion" opinions about your job performance since you were sworn is as the first Asian American Mayor of Oakland. First off, because you benefited from the 1st Mayoral "Choice Balloting" election held in Oakland, many citizens questioned the validity of your candidacy.
Please allow me to introduce myself and why I'm typing this entry.
My name is Jarrett Chin and I was born and reared in the city the voters entrusted you with. I am a product of the Oakland Unified School District. (Glenview Elementary, McChesney Jr High, now Edna Brewer Middle, and Oakland Senior High; please note that as a student of Oakland Unified, the teachers went on strike 3x's; then again you should already know about that considering you served on the Board) I received a BA in Ethnic Studies (Asian American Studies Option) from California State University, Hayward. I also considered one of your fellow activist as a personal mentor. (Richard Aoki) Currently I am a San Francisco Bay Area-based actor and performer.
Throughout my lifetime, I remained as a registered voter within the City of Oakland until 2005 even though I may have resided in San Francisco, Monterey Park, El Cerrito, and Gardena. I kept my parents' Glenview neighborhood address as a permanent address over those years. In 2005, my mother passed on, and my sister and I eventually sold the Oakland home and I've resided in San Mateo county ever since.
The reason why I'm typing this blog piece is because of the discussions I've had with friends and family over the past five years. Those discussions pertained to whether or not I would return to living in Oakland. After all, though I reside in San Mateo County, I am often in Oakland dining at my always dwindling favorite eating spots, serving as a board member for Oakland High's Alumni Association, visiting my deceased family members at Mountain View Cemetery, and catching my Oakland Raiders games. If anyone is familiar with my numerous blogs, they know I have my heart that's out and open towards Oakland. So many times I'm often asked over and over again...
So why don't you just move back to Oakland?
I often share with people that the main reason why I have not moved back to Oakland is because of the time required of me in San Francisco, and the uncertainty of traffic due to the ongoing construction of the Bay Bridge. However, that's only a partial factor.
That same year that I moved from Oakland to the Peninsula, I visited my close friend in Singapore. I totally fell in love with that country and with the people who reside there. Though there are documented restrictions out there such as a ban on chewing gum, I was thoroughly impressed with the nightlife out there. Actually I was culture shocked. So many neighborhoods and locations throughout the city-state were opened AND SAFE to walk around, even at 3am. It was not uncommon for people to walk around at 3am and not be harassed, let alone attacked. In fact I spent 2006-08 intensely looking for employment and moving opportunities specifically over there. In addition to the overall low crime rate and safety, Singapore is an extremely clean country.
I'm sure you've heard the expression, "a dog would never return to bones after eating steak." I'm sure you're getting a good idea of where I'm going with all of this. Why would I return? Why should I return? Granted, San Francisco's nightlife has more of a transient alcohol-driven nightlife, but at least a nightlife exists. Upon my visits to Oakland, I'm lucky to find a spot open after 9pm on a given night, and even if I were to find such a spot, would I be safe enough to walk from my car to the venue? I'll admit, had blogging existed during my teenage years, I'm sure someone would blog to the then current mayor (Elihu Harris) about how unsafe they felt at Lakeshore and/or near the now-defunct Henry J Kaiser Center because of the malicious teens based on my past behavior. I'll be the first to concede that I was not a complete angel growing up in Oakland.
Last week, I was shocked to learn that the nephew of one of my schoolmates was tragically shot and killed. I do not know what official number count he is on your city's homicide list, yet are you aware that such a list is increasing by the moment? So much for your "100 Block Plan," Oakland consists more than a hundred blocks. I want to remind you that you are responsible for every block within the Oakland city limits, not just those 100 you singled out.
Over the years, my biggest concern as an Oaklander was making sure we kept our professional sports teams. Now after leaving the city and adapted as an outsider looking in, I cannot blame the respected owners for looking elsewhere to play. Aside from the Raiders whom Mark Davis has actually publicly stated his interest to remain in Oakland, the owners of both the A's and Warriors deserve no more a$$-kissing from you guys. The Warriors has played in Oakland for 40 years now and has NEVER considered themselves as THE OAKLAND WARRIORS. It's clear that The Warriors want to drop "Golden State" in favor of "San Francisco." If Coliseum City still insists on building a large capacity arena to accompany a stadium, then I highly recommend negotiations with the Sacramento Kings instead of the Warriors. As for the Athletics, as long as Mr Wolff is in charge, Oakland should not negotiate (ie, BEG) with them. I think Coliseum City is a wonderful idea, just not for the current owners of those two specific franchises. Speaking of Coliseum City and the speculation on how it's going to be possibly funded, cleaning up the immediate 3 mile radius of the proposed Coliseum City both literally and figuratively (violent crime) would boost the probability tremendously. If there will be a reliance on foreign investors to build CC, then Oakland International Airport needs to include flights in and out of other countries besides Mexico and Canada. "International" goes beyond North America, y'know. (edit note: Now aware that there are regular flights going in/out of some Scandinavian countries via Oakland Int'l Airport 10/2013)
Have you looked at a map of California, more specifically The San Francisco Bay Area recently? Have you looked at an almanac? Oakland has been top rated regarding climate. The City of Oakland, YOUR city is located in the most centralized prime location in the Bay Area, yet it's one of the most avoided cities not just in the Bay Area, but the entire Northern California. (If it's not already THE MOST avoided city) Just the Coliseum area alone, BART, Amtrak, 880, and the airport are within reach, but the concentration of homicides dominate the perception in regards to that area. In any other city with similar transportation access, such an area would be prime real estate, prime development. Yet we still need to wait another year for a friggin EIR? Meanwhile as I type this, the likelihood of another shooting happening within 2 miles from the aforementioned area is highly likely.
Please don't blame the economy and/or lack of funds. That is a catch-22 that's been created in Oakland. Funding comes from revenue and taxes, but as long as businesses don't feel safe to operate in Oakland, bye bye revenue. I have an idea: next time instead of overspending to accommodate a group of outsiders like Occupy Oakland, how 'bout using that money to protect the citizens and businesses within your city. I have news for you: Oakland "AINT" San Francisco. Let San Francisco handle the visitors, outsiders and tourists, that's what San Francisco is good at. Oakland needs to take care of Oakland and Oaklanders. Isn't that a concept?
And if I begin to see Oakland taking care of Oakland, maybe I'll feel safe enough to return and live there.
Sincerely,
Jarrett Chin
PS, going back to the fact that you were the 1st Oakland Mayor of Asian descent and the other fact that my undergrad work was in Asian American Studies, for the record if I was still a voter in Oakland, you would not have received my 1st or 2nd choice vote for mayor. Just sayin'...
I'm sure you have received a "gazzilion" opinions about your job performance since you were sworn is as the first Asian American Mayor of Oakland. First off, because you benefited from the 1st Mayoral "Choice Balloting" election held in Oakland, many citizens questioned the validity of your candidacy.
Please allow me to introduce myself and why I'm typing this entry.
My name is Jarrett Chin and I was born and reared in the city the voters entrusted you with. I am a product of the Oakland Unified School District. (Glenview Elementary, McChesney Jr High, now Edna Brewer Middle, and Oakland Senior High; please note that as a student of Oakland Unified, the teachers went on strike 3x's; then again you should already know about that considering you served on the Board) I received a BA in Ethnic Studies (Asian American Studies Option) from California State University, Hayward. I also considered one of your fellow activist as a personal mentor. (Richard Aoki) Currently I am a San Francisco Bay Area-based actor and performer.
Throughout my lifetime, I remained as a registered voter within the City of Oakland until 2005 even though I may have resided in San Francisco, Monterey Park, El Cerrito, and Gardena. I kept my parents' Glenview neighborhood address as a permanent address over those years. In 2005, my mother passed on, and my sister and I eventually sold the Oakland home and I've resided in San Mateo county ever since.
The reason why I'm typing this blog piece is because of the discussions I've had with friends and family over the past five years. Those discussions pertained to whether or not I would return to living in Oakland. After all, though I reside in San Mateo County, I am often in Oakland dining at my always dwindling favorite eating spots, serving as a board member for Oakland High's Alumni Association, visiting my deceased family members at Mountain View Cemetery, and catching my Oakland Raiders games. If anyone is familiar with my numerous blogs, they know I have my heart that's out and open towards Oakland. So many times I'm often asked over and over again...
So why don't you just move back to Oakland?
I often share with people that the main reason why I have not moved back to Oakland is because of the time required of me in San Francisco, and the uncertainty of traffic due to the ongoing construction of the Bay Bridge. However, that's only a partial factor.
That same year that I moved from Oakland to the Peninsula, I visited my close friend in Singapore. I totally fell in love with that country and with the people who reside there. Though there are documented restrictions out there such as a ban on chewing gum, I was thoroughly impressed with the nightlife out there. Actually I was culture shocked. So many neighborhoods and locations throughout the city-state were opened AND SAFE to walk around, even at 3am. It was not uncommon for people to walk around at 3am and not be harassed, let alone attacked. In fact I spent 2006-08 intensely looking for employment and moving opportunities specifically over there. In addition to the overall low crime rate and safety, Singapore is an extremely clean country.
I'm sure you've heard the expression, "a dog would never return to bones after eating steak." I'm sure you're getting a good idea of where I'm going with all of this. Why would I return? Why should I return? Granted, San Francisco's nightlife has more of a transient alcohol-driven nightlife, but at least a nightlife exists. Upon my visits to Oakland, I'm lucky to find a spot open after 9pm on a given night, and even if I were to find such a spot, would I be safe enough to walk from my car to the venue? I'll admit, had blogging existed during my teenage years, I'm sure someone would blog to the then current mayor (Elihu Harris) about how unsafe they felt at Lakeshore and/or near the now-defunct Henry J Kaiser Center because of the malicious teens based on my past behavior. I'll be the first to concede that I was not a complete angel growing up in Oakland.
Last week, I was shocked to learn that the nephew of one of my schoolmates was tragically shot and killed. I do not know what official number count he is on your city's homicide list, yet are you aware that such a list is increasing by the moment? So much for your "100 Block Plan," Oakland consists more than a hundred blocks. I want to remind you that you are responsible for every block within the Oakland city limits, not just those 100 you singled out.
Over the years, my biggest concern as an Oaklander was making sure we kept our professional sports teams. Now after leaving the city and adapted as an outsider looking in, I cannot blame the respected owners for looking elsewhere to play. Aside from the Raiders whom Mark Davis has actually publicly stated his interest to remain in Oakland, the owners of both the A's and Warriors deserve no more a$$-kissing from you guys. The Warriors has played in Oakland for 40 years now and has NEVER considered themselves as THE OAKLAND WARRIORS. It's clear that The Warriors want to drop "Golden State" in favor of "San Francisco." If Coliseum City still insists on building a large capacity arena to accompany a stadium, then I highly recommend negotiations with the Sacramento Kings instead of the Warriors. As for the Athletics, as long as Mr Wolff is in charge, Oakland should not negotiate (ie, BEG) with them. I think Coliseum City is a wonderful idea, just not for the current owners of those two specific franchises. Speaking of Coliseum City and the speculation on how it's going to be possibly funded, cleaning up the immediate 3 mile radius of the proposed Coliseum City both literally and figuratively (violent crime) would boost the probability tremendously. If there will be a reliance on foreign investors to build CC, then Oakland International Airport needs to include flights in and out of other countries besides Mexico and Canada. "International" goes beyond North America, y'know. (edit note: Now aware that there are regular flights going in/out of some Scandinavian countries via Oakland Int'l Airport 10/2013)
Have you looked at a map of California, more specifically The San Francisco Bay Area recently? Have you looked at an almanac? Oakland has been top rated regarding climate. The City of Oakland, YOUR city is located in the most centralized prime location in the Bay Area, yet it's one of the most avoided cities not just in the Bay Area, but the entire Northern California. (If it's not already THE MOST avoided city) Just the Coliseum area alone, BART, Amtrak, 880, and the airport are within reach, but the concentration of homicides dominate the perception in regards to that area. In any other city with similar transportation access, such an area would be prime real estate, prime development. Yet we still need to wait another year for a friggin EIR? Meanwhile as I type this, the likelihood of another shooting happening within 2 miles from the aforementioned area is highly likely.
Please don't blame the economy and/or lack of funds. That is a catch-22 that's been created in Oakland. Funding comes from revenue and taxes, but as long as businesses don't feel safe to operate in Oakland, bye bye revenue. I have an idea: next time instead of overspending to accommodate a group of outsiders like Occupy Oakland, how 'bout using that money to protect the citizens and businesses within your city. I have news for you: Oakland "AINT" San Francisco. Let San Francisco handle the visitors, outsiders and tourists, that's what San Francisco is good at. Oakland needs to take care of Oakland and Oaklanders. Isn't that a concept?
And if I begin to see Oakland taking care of Oakland, maybe I'll feel safe enough to return and live there.
Sincerely,
Jarrett Chin
PS, going back to the fact that you were the 1st Oakland Mayor of Asian descent and the other fact that my undergrad work was in Asian American Studies, for the record if I was still a voter in Oakland, you would not have received my 1st or 2nd choice vote for mayor. Just sayin'...
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
The King and Queen of Hearts
Happy Hearts Day!!!
So for those of us who are considered "single" and/or were physically away from our respected significant other for one reason or another and were unable to spend time together today, I'm going to pose an important question. Actually scratch that. This question is for everyone, including those who went all out and celebrated today with their respected "special someone someone."
What special thing didja do for your absolutely, wonderfully, ever lasting and loyal "TRUE LOVE?"
Now before answering, I want to clarify and be specific of whom I'm referring to when I ask that question.
What special thing did you do for that person who looks back at you every time you look in the mirror?
If today is designed to celebrate your "special" relationships, wouldn't the most important relationship in your life be acknowledged in some shape or form today? Shouldn't the most important relationship in your life be acknowledged in some shape or form today if today is designed to celebrate those "special" relationships?
Yes, I am referring to YOU
Who else is out there? Who is with you 24/7? Who sees you naked every time you undress? Who else are you fully responsible for?
I used to be very cynical towards Valentine's Day. I was a victim. Victim of bad relationships, girlfriends from Hell, singleness, over charging restaurants, unrealistic expectations. You name it, I was once a victim of it until the sheer utter hateness and livid bile permeated my entire beingness come every February 14.
As someone of Chinese descent, thank God the Lunar New Year rolled around the same time. That enabled me to effortlessly find "distractions." People would ask in years past what my plans were for February 14, and my answer would be that I'm "too busy" with this or that Lunar New Year event. For the most part, it worked.
And besides, why designate ONE DAY out of the entire year to celebrate those special relationships in your life? That's pretty sad and shallow to "NEED" a day remembering and celebrating when one should remember and celebrate their relationships every day!
I've been in an "off again, on again" type of deal for the past 3 years. We had a big squirmish during Valentine's Day 2011 when I said "it's Chinese New Year and we're 2000 miles away from each other." It WAS CNY and she was located in Asia while I'm here in the States. I was a volunteer for the Miss Chinatown USA Pageant which is held annually on Chinese New Year, and someone posted a shot of me distributing Valentines gift to the beauty contestants. We almost split up, and thankfully we didn't.
So this week, something hit me about today regarding relationships. Last year I focused on the Lunar New Year's festivities because I didn't have much faith in the relationship I was in during that time. I wasn't having much faith as today we being approached closer and closer. On top of that, the Lunar New Year concluded a week ago. So when I attended church service this past Sunday, Rev. Donna asked all of us a poignant question.
How are you celebrating Valentine's Day with the most important relationship in YOUR life: YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF?
Huh? Myself? What?
Yup, all these years I've neglected the most important relationship in my life. ME. And then I wonder why I was such a "victim" to all those "Bad Valentines Day incidents" over the years.
Could it be that had I improve the connection to me, a lot of that would've disappeared? Could it be, I would've been more open to celebrate last year? Could it be that the relationship I was in would've been more "on" than "off?"
If someone asked me to give them $10, common sense would say that I would need to have at least $10 to fulfill their request.
To say that Valentine's Day celebrates the special relationships in our lives, especially our relationship with ourselves isn't being corny, or "touchy-feely," it's common sense.
So today, my special thing I did for myself was a little common sense.
So for those of us who are considered "single" and/or were physically away from our respected significant other for one reason or another and were unable to spend time together today, I'm going to pose an important question. Actually scratch that. This question is for everyone, including those who went all out and celebrated today with their respected "special someone someone."
What special thing didja do for your absolutely, wonderfully, ever lasting and loyal "TRUE LOVE?"
Now before answering, I want to clarify and be specific of whom I'm referring to when I ask that question.
What special thing did you do for that person who looks back at you every time you look in the mirror?
If today is designed to celebrate your "special" relationships, wouldn't the most important relationship in your life be acknowledged in some shape or form today? Shouldn't the most important relationship in your life be acknowledged in some shape or form today if today is designed to celebrate those "special" relationships?
Yes, I am referring to YOU
Who else is out there? Who is with you 24/7? Who sees you naked every time you undress? Who else are you fully responsible for?
I used to be very cynical towards Valentine's Day. I was a victim. Victim of bad relationships, girlfriends from Hell, singleness, over charging restaurants, unrealistic expectations. You name it, I was once a victim of it until the sheer utter hateness and livid bile permeated my entire beingness come every February 14.
As someone of Chinese descent, thank God the Lunar New Year rolled around the same time. That enabled me to effortlessly find "distractions." People would ask in years past what my plans were for February 14, and my answer would be that I'm "too busy" with this or that Lunar New Year event. For the most part, it worked.
And besides, why designate ONE DAY out of the entire year to celebrate those special relationships in your life? That's pretty sad and shallow to "NEED" a day remembering and celebrating when one should remember and celebrate their relationships every day!
I've been in an "off again, on again" type of deal for the past 3 years. We had a big squirmish during Valentine's Day 2011 when I said "it's Chinese New Year and we're 2000 miles away from each other." It WAS CNY and she was located in Asia while I'm here in the States. I was a volunteer for the Miss Chinatown USA Pageant which is held annually on Chinese New Year, and someone posted a shot of me distributing Valentines gift to the beauty contestants. We almost split up, and thankfully we didn't.
So this week, something hit me about today regarding relationships. Last year I focused on the Lunar New Year's festivities because I didn't have much faith in the relationship I was in during that time. I wasn't having much faith as today we being approached closer and closer. On top of that, the Lunar New Year concluded a week ago. So when I attended church service this past Sunday, Rev. Donna asked all of us a poignant question.
How are you celebrating Valentine's Day with the most important relationship in YOUR life: YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF?
Huh? Myself? What?
Yup, all these years I've neglected the most important relationship in my life. ME. And then I wonder why I was such a "victim" to all those "Bad Valentines Day incidents" over the years.
Could it be that had I improve the connection to me, a lot of that would've disappeared? Could it be, I would've been more open to celebrate last year? Could it be that the relationship I was in would've been more "on" than "off?"
If someone asked me to give them $10, common sense would say that I would need to have at least $10 to fulfill their request.
To say that Valentine's Day celebrates the special relationships in our lives, especially our relationship with ourselves isn't being corny, or "touchy-feely," it's common sense.
So today, my special thing I did for myself was a little common sense.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Wandering in the Undergrad Wilderness
Few nights back I was lucky enough to spend some times with my "college friends" for dinner. It feels a little weird to be saying that especially since all of us have completed our degree more than ten years ago. I was older than my group of friends because of the time and journey I took before completing my degree. After dinner as I was driving home I reflected on what it took for me to complete my program and realized the divine participation in the entire process.
I was not a model student in college whatsoever. In fact it took me FOUR YEARS of community college to accrue two years worth of transferable credit to a four year university. Once I got to my FIRST university, I didn't too much of what I was supposed to do.
So I transferred from Peralta College to San Francisco State University in the 90s. For every four classes I took per semester, I completed between 1-2 classes. And that was considered a "good" semester. Because of the financial aid I qualified for, signing up for classes and dropping before the drop deadline and sell/resell books became an "enterprise" for me. Unfortunately that "enterprise" was not creating enough income, so another "enterprising" friend introduced me to MLM. I wasn't really interested on the marketing or the selling aspect of MLM which was why I was unsuccessful at it, however I discovered a new love and passion: personal growth/development. It became such a priority, the semester of completing 1-2 classes for every 4 classes declined to 0-1 class for every 4 classes per semester. Since I wasn't selling enough in MLM and since my "enterprise" declined, I took out more loans. After all, it WAS "going to my 'education.'" Eventually academic probation at SFSU won out, so I was given an opportunity "get a REAL education." (Personal growth)
I set goals for myself that I considered at that time "unreachable." One of those goals included tracking down my biological mother. (Another project in addition to personal development that took priority over SF State) When I achieved that goal of meeting her and coming face-to-face, it added a radically new dynamic into my life that I was totally unprepared for. It became a situation where I learned the meaning behind the saying:
"Be careful what you wish for, you just may get it!"
The meeting and encounter opened a can of worms that was overwhelming, and as a result, I found myself seeking refuge in the underground rave scenes and bars. Even that refuge took priority over the quest for personal development. Eventually I was at such a loss, that's when seeking a religious path became a way of life for me. In a way, the religious path became my personal development program. To say that I was a bit overzealous...yeah I was. I had to be at that time. I had to dive in head first. Eventually I no longer worked in MLM and found full time work with GTE, which was the predecessor to Verizon. (I had set another goal in the early-mid 90s, to get a cell phone before it became the norm to have one. This was still during the pager days, and having a cell phone means having impeccable credit which I did not have after defaulting on my school loans.) While working with my cubicle mates at GTE, we compared our salaries and I learned that my colleague were making about 30% more than I was. The difference between them and myself was because they had a BA degree. I later learned that they had different degrees, none had anything to do with working in telecom or business. They just had a degree and were offered more for the exact same work we were doing.
I was selected to travel to China on behalf of my church to teach conversational English for the summer of 1997. Funny part during my goal setting session in one of my personal development class, I wrote a goal to "be in Hong Kong before July 1, 1997." Guess where I had to stop first before China? Yup, Hong Kong! Guess when I arrived there? June 14, 1997. Talking about exceeding my expectation, I got to be there when The Handover occurred!
Among our team of 8 assigned to teach English, 7/8 were either still in college completing their degree or had already completed their degree. Guess who was the single teammate who was neither? Yup, and guess who was having an inner turmoil of self-consciousness, inner shame, and un-worthiness because of that? Yup, me. So as we were wrapping up one of our assignments at JiShou University, I completely lost it during a banquet. The University President hosted a banquet in our honor to express gratitude for teaching his students, and spoke about excelling and valuing education and how his students specifically made extraordinary sacrifices in order to be students there. I eventually took a turn to speak on behalf of the entire team following his speech. I shared that I now understood what I thought was an insane obsession of my father for me to attend and finish college, how I did not take advantage of my opportunity to complete my degree, and how honored I felt that he entrusted our team (specifically me) to teach them English and American culture. I also impulsively declared that I would finish my degree once I returned to the States. I was then invited to the table of the University President who personally toasted me and wished me well. Now receiving a personal well-wish from a host with such a position at a Chinese banquet is a big deal. I made a declaration that I had no idea how I was going to keep. My full-time job at that time awaited my return.
Or so I thought.
Upon returning home from China, I learned that I was permanently replaced by the one who supposedly "temporarily" my replacement while I was gone. So it was back to job hunting again. I came across for a community development position at a local Christian university. Job requirements include office admin experience, public speaking experience and "an extensive knowledge of Oakland California." Benefits included medical, dental, and included classes and degree completion paid for by the university!!!
Talk about synchronicity, right? It was "a God thang" too, right? Well...yes it was.
So when Mike called me from the college to scheduled an interview for the position, I was ecstatic. I even wore an entire suit for the interview as opposed to my Dockers style pants with a button-down shirt and tie that I normally wear to interviews. We even had a conversation for a good fifteen minutes after the interview concluded. He assured me that I'll be hearing from him "soon."
Two weeks later, I received a phone call and job offer from Eve at Paging Networks. I asked her to allow me 48 hours before accepting the position. She gave me 24. I contacted Mike at the college. He said he offered the position to someone else. I started my new position at Paging Networks the following week. That was the fall of 1997. I worked with a motley crew of a department. It became a "day in, day out" routine for me. I eventually forgot about my impulsive declaration I made months earlier in China. After all, it was so far away. And its not like this president guy will ever find out anyways. I'm sure he'll never know one way or another. But I knew. So in the beginning of 98, our entire company received a pink slip or the option to re-locate to Utah. As for my department, we were on an "indefinite transition timetable." In other words, they knew we were going to be cut, they had no idea when. Little by little, Paging Networks office became more and more derelict.
Completing my degree just wasn't in the cards for me.
As my colleagues began to look and locate other jobs in the area, I too began a new job search. While other folks began to take time off for interviews, my supervisor would not allow my time off and eventually began demanding a doctor's note for each sick day. Anytime we received a new memo, we held our breath. A new memo meant a change and new policy creating a more challenging work environment which meant lower morale. Even at one point, my department jokingly voted me a "Most Likely to Go Postal on the Next Memo" award. When we received a new memo one day, we were getting ready for another "what the hell now" moment and one of my colleague began to drum roll in giving me my "award."
On behalf of Paging Networks, we would like to thank you for your patience and commitment to our transition. We are pleased to announce that as an additional assistance to ease the burden and transition of our dedicated employees, we have approved to all employees the tuition reimbursement program originally slated for our managers only.
I applied for the next quarter at Cal State Hayward and was accepted. To qualify for the tuition reimbursement, I needed to take courses that were considered "work related." My first course I signed up for was "Stress and Coping." After submitting the proof of enrollment for that specific class, I was pre-approved. With support from that professor and her colleague who was a clinical therapist, they submitted a document to what was left of the human resource department pleading for them to allow me to be approved for workman's comp stress-related work. Unfortunately I was approved to receive disability benefits only.
Regardless, I was able to take the time and attend school on a full-time basis. I received my BA in 2000 from Cal State HAYWARD, NOT East Bay.
I really thought I was meant to be offered that position at the Christian college to complete my degree. I even thought it was a "God thing" when I was getting closer and closer to the possibility. You could imagine my "what the hell" moment when I accepted to what was considered a "dead-end" job position. You could imagine the "what the f*ck" moment when the company announced the closure and the eventual, subsequent "WTF" moments with each company memo(s) that followed afterwards.
Yet it was all part of an elaborate scheme to an end result I declared in the summer of 1997. Was it a mechanism and a path I personally would've chosen to take? Absolutely not. It was, in the whole grand scheme of things probably the best thing to happen. Not knocking the Christian college, but the degree completion at that time was on organizational management, which was a business-related degree. It was far from where my passions and my academic strengths were. Also as a student at Hayward I was allowed an opportunity to pursue my craft of acting and theater which I would not have gotten at the other school. Lastly from a human resource standpoint, most people have heard of California State University, but the Christian college has less notoriety.
Here I was having dinner with friends from college (Hayward) reflecting on the journey that enabled us to cross paths with each other, and the thought occurred to me.
No way would I be enjoying this dinner had that job that I initially wanted been offered to me...
I was not a model student in college whatsoever. In fact it took me FOUR YEARS of community college to accrue two years worth of transferable credit to a four year university. Once I got to my FIRST university, I didn't too much of what I was supposed to do.
So I transferred from Peralta College to San Francisco State University in the 90s. For every four classes I took per semester, I completed between 1-2 classes. And that was considered a "good" semester. Because of the financial aid I qualified for, signing up for classes and dropping before the drop deadline and sell/resell books became an "enterprise" for me. Unfortunately that "enterprise" was not creating enough income, so another "enterprising" friend introduced me to MLM. I wasn't really interested on the marketing or the selling aspect of MLM which was why I was unsuccessful at it, however I discovered a new love and passion: personal growth/development. It became such a priority, the semester of completing 1-2 classes for every 4 classes declined to 0-1 class for every 4 classes per semester. Since I wasn't selling enough in MLM and since my "enterprise" declined, I took out more loans. After all, it WAS "going to my 'education.'" Eventually academic probation at SFSU won out, so I was given an opportunity "get a REAL education." (Personal growth)
I set goals for myself that I considered at that time "unreachable." One of those goals included tracking down my biological mother. (Another project in addition to personal development that took priority over SF State) When I achieved that goal of meeting her and coming face-to-face, it added a radically new dynamic into my life that I was totally unprepared for. It became a situation where I learned the meaning behind the saying:
"Be careful what you wish for, you just may get it!"
The meeting and encounter opened a can of worms that was overwhelming, and as a result, I found myself seeking refuge in the underground rave scenes and bars. Even that refuge took priority over the quest for personal development. Eventually I was at such a loss, that's when seeking a religious path became a way of life for me. In a way, the religious path became my personal development program. To say that I was a bit overzealous...yeah I was. I had to be at that time. I had to dive in head first. Eventually I no longer worked in MLM and found full time work with GTE, which was the predecessor to Verizon. (I had set another goal in the early-mid 90s, to get a cell phone before it became the norm to have one. This was still during the pager days, and having a cell phone means having impeccable credit which I did not have after defaulting on my school loans.) While working with my cubicle mates at GTE, we compared our salaries and I learned that my colleague were making about 30% more than I was. The difference between them and myself was because they had a BA degree. I later learned that they had different degrees, none had anything to do with working in telecom or business. They just had a degree and were offered more for the exact same work we were doing.
I was selected to travel to China on behalf of my church to teach conversational English for the summer of 1997. Funny part during my goal setting session in one of my personal development class, I wrote a goal to "be in Hong Kong before July 1, 1997." Guess where I had to stop first before China? Yup, Hong Kong! Guess when I arrived there? June 14, 1997. Talking about exceeding my expectation, I got to be there when The Handover occurred!
Among our team of 8 assigned to teach English, 7/8 were either still in college completing their degree or had already completed their degree. Guess who was the single teammate who was neither? Yup, and guess who was having an inner turmoil of self-consciousness, inner shame, and un-worthiness because of that? Yup, me. So as we were wrapping up one of our assignments at JiShou University, I completely lost it during a banquet. The University President hosted a banquet in our honor to express gratitude for teaching his students, and spoke about excelling and valuing education and how his students specifically made extraordinary sacrifices in order to be students there. I eventually took a turn to speak on behalf of the entire team following his speech. I shared that I now understood what I thought was an insane obsession of my father for me to attend and finish college, how I did not take advantage of my opportunity to complete my degree, and how honored I felt that he entrusted our team (specifically me) to teach them English and American culture. I also impulsively declared that I would finish my degree once I returned to the States. I was then invited to the table of the University President who personally toasted me and wished me well. Now receiving a personal well-wish from a host with such a position at a Chinese banquet is a big deal. I made a declaration that I had no idea how I was going to keep. My full-time job at that time awaited my return.
Or so I thought.
Upon returning home from China, I learned that I was permanently replaced by the one who supposedly "temporarily" my replacement while I was gone. So it was back to job hunting again. I came across for a community development position at a local Christian university. Job requirements include office admin experience, public speaking experience and "an extensive knowledge of Oakland California." Benefits included medical, dental, and included classes and degree completion paid for by the university!!!
Talk about synchronicity, right? It was "a God thang" too, right? Well...yes it was.
So when Mike called me from the college to scheduled an interview for the position, I was ecstatic. I even wore an entire suit for the interview as opposed to my Dockers style pants with a button-down shirt and tie that I normally wear to interviews. We even had a conversation for a good fifteen minutes after the interview concluded. He assured me that I'll be hearing from him "soon."
Two weeks later, I received a phone call and job offer from Eve at Paging Networks. I asked her to allow me 48 hours before accepting the position. She gave me 24. I contacted Mike at the college. He said he offered the position to someone else. I started my new position at Paging Networks the following week. That was the fall of 1997. I worked with a motley crew of a department. It became a "day in, day out" routine for me. I eventually forgot about my impulsive declaration I made months earlier in China. After all, it was so far away. And its not like this president guy will ever find out anyways. I'm sure he'll never know one way or another. But I knew. So in the beginning of 98, our entire company received a pink slip or the option to re-locate to Utah. As for my department, we were on an "indefinite transition timetable." In other words, they knew we were going to be cut, they had no idea when. Little by little, Paging Networks office became more and more derelict.
Completing my degree just wasn't in the cards for me.
As my colleagues began to look and locate other jobs in the area, I too began a new job search. While other folks began to take time off for interviews, my supervisor would not allow my time off and eventually began demanding a doctor's note for each sick day. Anytime we received a new memo, we held our breath. A new memo meant a change and new policy creating a more challenging work environment which meant lower morale. Even at one point, my department jokingly voted me a "Most Likely to Go Postal on the Next Memo" award. When we received a new memo one day, we were getting ready for another "what the hell now" moment and one of my colleague began to drum roll in giving me my "award."
On behalf of Paging Networks, we would like to thank you for your patience and commitment to our transition. We are pleased to announce that as an additional assistance to ease the burden and transition of our dedicated employees, we have approved to all employees the tuition reimbursement program originally slated for our managers only.
I applied for the next quarter at Cal State Hayward and was accepted. To qualify for the tuition reimbursement, I needed to take courses that were considered "work related." My first course I signed up for was "Stress and Coping." After submitting the proof of enrollment for that specific class, I was pre-approved. With support from that professor and her colleague who was a clinical therapist, they submitted a document to what was left of the human resource department pleading for them to allow me to be approved for workman's comp stress-related work. Unfortunately I was approved to receive disability benefits only.
Regardless, I was able to take the time and attend school on a full-time basis. I received my BA in 2000 from Cal State HAYWARD, NOT East Bay.
I really thought I was meant to be offered that position at the Christian college to complete my degree. I even thought it was a "God thing" when I was getting closer and closer to the possibility. You could imagine my "what the hell" moment when I accepted to what was considered a "dead-end" job position. You could imagine the "what the f*ck" moment when the company announced the closure and the eventual, subsequent "WTF" moments with each company memo(s) that followed afterwards.
Yet it was all part of an elaborate scheme to an end result I declared in the summer of 1997. Was it a mechanism and a path I personally would've chosen to take? Absolutely not. It was, in the whole grand scheme of things probably the best thing to happen. Not knocking the Christian college, but the degree completion at that time was on organizational management, which was a business-related degree. It was far from where my passions and my academic strengths were. Also as a student at Hayward I was allowed an opportunity to pursue my craft of acting and theater which I would not have gotten at the other school. Lastly from a human resource standpoint, most people have heard of California State University, but the Christian college has less notoriety.
Here I was having dinner with friends from college (Hayward) reflecting on the journey that enabled us to cross paths with each other, and the thought occurred to me.
No way would I be enjoying this dinner had that job that I initially wanted been offered to me...
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Annual Post for The New Year
Originally posted a year ago HERE.
I've decided to post this on a annual basis for New Years. Earlier this evening while watching a streaming NYE event, Rev Michael Beckwith pointed out that we do not need to wait for the numerical change on a calendar in order to create a transformation. We just need to choose, period.
You see, I grew up in a Chinese-American household. We had TWO New Years, give or take a month. In other words within a month if I had dropped off on a stated resolution in two weeks or less, there was a "second chance." Even so, since people from the Chinese community didn't really advocate the concept of a "New Year's Resolution," I hardly took advantage of my "2nd Chance."
So Happy Year of the Dragon. Here's my posting with some nominal editing word for word. Heck if the infamous Ann Landers could reprint her New Years column for forty-something years, why can't I repost, right?
You're never going to get me to answer that question.
"What's your New Year's Resolution?"
That question is probably perhaps the most counter-productive question for the majority of humanity seeking change and growth. Every month of January, I fight for parking spaces en route to the gym, and once I'm there, I'm salvaging what space is available for the workout class. Come the middle of February the attendance returns back to the normal regular gym attenders. That's just the physical resolution.
Please don't call me a cynic. I'm not. I'm sincerely into the growth for myself and other people. In fact, I'll be the first in line to support anyone and everyone who desires to make a change for the better in their life. So why am I so against the notion of making a new year's resolution? For starters, they don't work for the majority of people who pledge a resolution. I only use the gym as an example because I've observed this at the same gym for the past 5 years.
I am not ashamed of the fact that one of my past mentors was a 12-steps practitioner. Actually there were a couple of my mentors who regularly attended 12 steps meetings for one reason or another. One of the most valuable lessons I learned from their example was the value of TODAY. They didn't make bold, long-term resolutions, they simply made daily goals, one step at a time, one day at a time. From them I learned how to understand that expression:
So how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!
They lived it, they practiced it. It was from them that I learned to make "daily resolutions."
For the past few years of my pursuit of personal development, there was never more of a time where I had an appreciation learning from my 12-stepping mentors than during the time I "played" a "game" called PLD (Pacesetters Leadership Dynamics) What this was in a nutshell, 90 days of personal coaching, relationship building, accountability, and goal setting within a "team" setting. Throughout the 90 days, we reported in doing numerous challenging team and individual exercises to learn not only leadership, marketing, and relationship skills, but also to take a deeper look within. There were moments during those 90 days where I wanted to quit and walk away. However because of what I learned from my past mentors in taking things "a day at a time," I was able to complete one of the most challenging three-months period of my life. In that time frame, I went from 187 pounds to 173 pounds. (I'm currently at 175-77; PLD was almost 2 years ago) I invited and brought 12 people to church with me. Prior to that, I was a "lone ranger" church attender. I went on 22 dates with 8 different young ladies after putting myself on a 4 year dating drought. (2005-06 no dates; 2007 3 dates; 2008 2 dates) I contributed directly to 3 local charities in fund-raising and direct volunteer work, contacted my sister whom I had not spoken to in three years, became the first male student of the S Factor pole dancing course, and introduced over 17 people to the concept of personal development, 10 of them eventually signing up for taking a Basic course.
Now if I had looked at all that I did during those 90 days and was told that over the course of three months, I was going to do all of that, I would've went after it for maybe a week or two, then eventually gave up. However, I didn't because I took it a day at a time, and eventually 90 days came and passed.
The main disadvantage of the New Year's Resolution is that once most people fall off their respected path, they tend to stay off until the end of the year to re-commit themselves over again. A lucky few will fall off the path and eventually return to the path, but for the most part the majority won't. With a daily resolution, if you fall off the path, you only need to wait to the next morning for a new opportunity. It's less wait for that clean slate. Granted if your new year resolution was to drop like 25 pounds, you won't be able to drop 25 pounds in one day. But what if your resolution for the day was to jog 45 minutes just for that day. Then your next day's resolution was to eat chicken, fish, veggies, fruits only, and do a body sculpting class that lasted an hour. Let's say the next day, you overslept so you missed the scheduled body sculpting class, then you gave in and ate the fresh batch of cookies that your client dropped off at your office. Guess what? You have the following day for another opportunity to actually follow-through on the previous day's resolution. The bottom line is that with a daily resolution, you don't have to wait until December 31-January 1 to start over.
Just remember that for each new day is a new opportunity for a daily resolution. Don't forget to be thankful for that new day. The reality is the fact that there is no guarantee for tomorrow. So be thankful for today, and go all out with your (daily) resolution(s). So what if you fall short. Just do your best.
So once again remember not to ask me what my new year's resolution is...OK, OK, my arm's twisted...oww...OK, here's my resolution:
My New Years' Resolution is to make TODAY a great day!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I've decided to post this on a annual basis for New Years. Earlier this evening while watching a streaming NYE event, Rev Michael Beckwith pointed out that we do not need to wait for the numerical change on a calendar in order to create a transformation. We just need to choose, period.
You see, I grew up in a Chinese-American household. We had TWO New Years, give or take a month. In other words within a month if I had dropped off on a stated resolution in two weeks or less, there was a "second chance." Even so, since people from the Chinese community didn't really advocate the concept of a "New Year's Resolution," I hardly took advantage of my "2nd Chance."
So Happy Year of the Dragon. Here's my posting with some nominal editing word for word. Heck if the infamous Ann Landers could reprint her New Years column for forty-something years, why can't I repost, right?
You're never going to get me to answer that question.
"What's your New Year's Resolution?"
That question is probably perhaps the most counter-productive question for the majority of humanity seeking change and growth. Every month of January, I fight for parking spaces en route to the gym, and once I'm there, I'm salvaging what space is available for the workout class. Come the middle of February the attendance returns back to the normal regular gym attenders. That's just the physical resolution.
Please don't call me a cynic. I'm not. I'm sincerely into the growth for myself and other people. In fact, I'll be the first in line to support anyone and everyone who desires to make a change for the better in their life. So why am I so against the notion of making a new year's resolution? For starters, they don't work for the majority of people who pledge a resolution. I only use the gym as an example because I've observed this at the same gym for the past 5 years.
I am not ashamed of the fact that one of my past mentors was a 12-steps practitioner. Actually there were a couple of my mentors who regularly attended 12 steps meetings for one reason or another. One of the most valuable lessons I learned from their example was the value of TODAY. They didn't make bold, long-term resolutions, they simply made daily goals, one step at a time, one day at a time. From them I learned how to understand that expression:
So how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!
They lived it, they practiced it. It was from them that I learned to make "daily resolutions."
For the past few years of my pursuit of personal development, there was never more of a time where I had an appreciation learning from my 12-stepping mentors than during the time I "played" a "game" called PLD (Pacesetters Leadership Dynamics) What this was in a nutshell, 90 days of personal coaching, relationship building, accountability, and goal setting within a "team" setting. Throughout the 90 days, we reported in doing numerous challenging team and individual exercises to learn not only leadership, marketing, and relationship skills, but also to take a deeper look within. There were moments during those 90 days where I wanted to quit and walk away. However because of what I learned from my past mentors in taking things "a day at a time," I was able to complete one of the most challenging three-months period of my life. In that time frame, I went from 187 pounds to 173 pounds. (I'm currently at 175-77; PLD was almost 2 years ago) I invited and brought 12 people to church with me. Prior to that, I was a "lone ranger" church attender. I went on 22 dates with 8 different young ladies after putting myself on a 4 year dating drought. (2005-06 no dates; 2007 3 dates; 2008 2 dates) I contributed directly to 3 local charities in fund-raising and direct volunteer work, contacted my sister whom I had not spoken to in three years, became the first male student of the S Factor pole dancing course, and introduced over 17 people to the concept of personal development, 10 of them eventually signing up for taking a Basic course.
Now if I had looked at all that I did during those 90 days and was told that over the course of three months, I was going to do all of that, I would've went after it for maybe a week or two, then eventually gave up. However, I didn't because I took it a day at a time, and eventually 90 days came and passed.
The main disadvantage of the New Year's Resolution is that once most people fall off their respected path, they tend to stay off until the end of the year to re-commit themselves over again. A lucky few will fall off the path and eventually return to the path, but for the most part the majority won't. With a daily resolution, if you fall off the path, you only need to wait to the next morning for a new opportunity. It's less wait for that clean slate. Granted if your new year resolution was to drop like 25 pounds, you won't be able to drop 25 pounds in one day. But what if your resolution for the day was to jog 45 minutes just for that day. Then your next day's resolution was to eat chicken, fish, veggies, fruits only, and do a body sculpting class that lasted an hour. Let's say the next day, you overslept so you missed the scheduled body sculpting class, then you gave in and ate the fresh batch of cookies that your client dropped off at your office. Guess what? You have the following day for another opportunity to actually follow-through on the previous day's resolution. The bottom line is that with a daily resolution, you don't have to wait until December 31-January 1 to start over.
Just remember that for each new day is a new opportunity for a daily resolution. Don't forget to be thankful for that new day. The reality is the fact that there is no guarantee for tomorrow. So be thankful for today, and go all out with your (daily) resolution(s). So what if you fall short. Just do your best.
So once again remember not to ask me what my new year's resolution is...OK, OK, my arm's twisted...oww...OK, here's my resolution:
My New Years' Resolution is to make TODAY a great day!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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