Saturday, December 17, 2011

The 5 Year Christmas Journey

In Thanksgiving week 2006, I trekked to Singapore for the 3rd time in a one-year span, determined to create a new life there. Prior to the trip, I made new actor headshots, updated my resume, and obtained copies of So Beauty to take along with me. Upon arrival, I met up with an agent from Fly Entertainment and she agreed to represent me in Singapore. I felt like I scored an opportunity to move out there. I returned to the Bay Area around the 10th of December that year. While in Sunny Singapore, I shopped around and took a Christmas photo that I sent out to everyone: "Merry F*cking Christmas Everyone, I'm Outta Here!!!

I thought I was out of "here." (As in the Bay Area)

Upon returning to the Bay Area, I drove down to San Jose to assist in taking care of my niece for a few days while her father was traveling in Japan for work. Within the first hour or so, my friend noticed a swollen left hand and a high fever and eventually dropped me off at the Santa Clara Valley Medical Center. Upon examination, I was immediately checked into the facility and scheduled for an emergency surgery. Two days following the surgery, the doctors notices that my hand infection GREW and was spreading all over, and I was eventually scheduled to have my left hand amputated. I was pretty close to losing my left hand in Christmas 2006 which would've been a challenge considering I lost my mother in Christmas 2005.

This segment about what I refer to as the "2006 Christmas Hand Miracle" will be posted in more specific details in a future blog. I type this entry during Christmas 2011 with BOTH HANDS.

I auditioned for a theatrical certification programme in Singapore and was accepted in 2007. I then applied for a long-term student status resident visa and was promptly denied. While at the audition (July 2007) I learned that the agent who took me to represent me had herself an emergency surgical procedure and I was eventually dropped from the Singapore agency. My acceptance to the theater programme was my only hope to get into Singapore. I re-applied for a student visa THREE TIMES to the Singaporean government from Sept 07-Jan 08.

When I was introduced to PSI Seminars in the fall of 2007, I was reluctant to take any sort of courses from them. My friend who was en route to the Life Success Course then, challenged me such that if I was unable to secure a long term residence visa in Singapore by the 15 Jan 2008, I myself would take the course. So when I registered for the PSI Basic Seminar via phone on 16-Jan 2008 SINGAPORE TIME, there was a little apprehension on my behalf. Taking that course initially from my point of view, was an indication of "failure" that I was NOT "out of here."

At mid-point of the Basic Seminar, our class was given an exercise as a group. Upon completion of that particular exercise it was explained to me that the way I participated in that exercise, was the way I participated in my life overall. I was initially in denial of that assessment because I vividly recall that during the exercise, I was upset at another participant that I reacted by flipping the entire group off with the infamous "middle." I was also given a self-reflective homework assignment regarding the exercise, so upon returning home, I turned my computer on and what was staring at me was my "2006 Christmas Greeting."

Yup, that same photo.

So from March 2008 to now, I constantly looked at the way I interacted with people, making sure that my hand was in a position of giving instead of "that gesture." Nothing's perfect, however I'd have to say that after 5 years, I'm actually "showing up" more so during this Holiday Season.
2006 Holiday was the "Flip and Snip" hand theme.
2007 Holiday was alone and I "celebrated" over the death of a zoo visitor that year.
2008 Was a holiday where I learned to ski...and fell.
2009 Escape to Southeast Asia
2010 On Facebook, I acknowledged the Holiday Season with a solid black image on my profile.
This Holiday 2011:
For the first time since 2004, I cooked one of the main entrees (Thanksgiving)
For the first time since 2003, I helped decorate a Christmas tree
For the first time since 1999, I helped kettle bell-ringing on behalf of The Salvation Army.
On Facebook, I posted the "G-rated" version of my 2006 Christmas photo recently. I promise to, for the first time since 2006, take a Holiday photo of myself.

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