If there was ever a common thread in regards to my pursuits: involvement with martial arts/lion dancing, acting and theater, personal development, spiritual development I would have to say that common denominator (besides ME) would be the sense of belonging.
Let me rephrase that. The PERCEPTION of a sense of belonging.
Just because I'm a part of something doesn't necessarily indicate that I belong to any of the organizations I participate in. At some point, I felt the need TO belong. I was under the impression that in order to thrive within my pursuits, I needed to belong.
I didn't.
Once again the need to belong anywhere and everywhere involves a "gatekeeper." Even if I were a part of a family, there exists a family member "gatekeeper" who determines whether or not you "belong" to that family. I was adopted to a family in Oakland California. Whether or not I truly "belonged" to that family is another story. Was I loved by members of my family? Absolutely. I miss my maternal grandparents and I do what I can to remember them. My mother? Yes. Being loved by members of your family doesn't determine whether or not you truly "belonged" to that family.
After all, they're family.
I often found myself crossing paths with like-minded folks searching for a sense of belonging. At times we accepted each others' company and companionship and provided that sense. Sometimes we eventually find that "home" where we feel we belong to. As for the organizations I worked with in the past and still continue to work with, that sense of belonging fluctuates in time and in different situation as warranted.
Contacted an energy healer recently. First thing that came out of her mouth as soon as I entered the space.
LET GO of needing to belong. Do that by acknowledging that you're already inter-connected with each other and with God
Light bulb went illuminated in my mental head. It wasn't so much of my need to "belong" anywhere as it was that I suffered from amnesia. I forgot that I'm connected with everyone. Then again it's easy to forget, isn't it?
We cut each other off the road while driving and doing the "one finger wave."
We judge each other according to what the other wears...
...or what someone does for a living.
...or who someone voted for.
What victim would like to remind themselves that they're inter-connected to their respected perpetrator?
But we are. We are created that way in that Grand Scheme of Things.
This isn't a lesson on "how to connect," because we already connect. All the time 24/7. This is more of "how can I feel connected when I don't feel like I belong?"
First off, let go of belonging. That's external, out there, it "victimizes" because that sense of belonging is predicated on the action and attitudes of others.
Secondly, "FIRE" YOUR GATEKEEPER. Did you know you had one? That's the one who focuses on "s/he doesn't belong in OUR group," or "I don't belong here." The gate keeper's has one purpose: to distract you from the fact that you're connected.
Third, in figuring out how you're connected to someone you least feel connected to, look for what bothers you most about him or her. Then look at how you share that same quality. Do the same in finding what you admire about them. If you spot it, you got it!
Monday, June 20, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
The Religious Order for Actors
Originally Posted on March 18, 2011 HERE Was eventually completed on April 1, 2011
Yes and No.
With a lot of controversy surrounding the whole thing about Tom Cruise and his ties to the Scientologists, the average audience member watches on with certain assumptions of their favorite performers in regards their respected spirituality. Actors are an uncanny fickle bunch. I should know, I fall into the same category as most actors. If someone was to inquire about my own personal view on spirituality, I'd simply give them a generic answer: "I'm Christian." Sure, I've seen and heard a more general response such as "I'm spiritual." (What the hell does THAT really mean?)
Posting about my faith and theology is for another future time. It's difficult to really separate my beliefs versus my experiences within a religious setting, and that is a challenge that the average person wrestles with in regards to spirituality. So therefore I'm gonna attempt to build a 10 foot pole to touch the topic in the near future.
I'm not really talking about that anyways.
I observed the last ten years while pursuing, training and working on various acting productions that the actor tends to create their own sort of religious order to a lesser degree than a fanatical follower when it comes to the technique of their craft of acting. I'm not talking about fundamental craft knowledge such as voice, diction, movement/dance though people will separate themselves along the various disciplines there too. (Linklater vs Fitzmaurice vs Alexander ect) I'm referring to the various schools of techniques in regards to achieving the performance state of "being in the moment."
Since my performance background began in doing stand-up comedy, I gravitated towards the improvisational based forms of acting when I began my formal acting training. I was lucky enough to learn from someone who was versed in VARIOUS schools of improv acting, so there was no hard-core loyalty insistence. Coming from San Francisco, Theatersports and Johnstone has a heavy presence in the improvisational scene. Elsewhere in L.A., N.Y. and Chicago, Second City and more Spolin based improv dominate the scene. As ridiculous as it sounds I've come across improvisors who refused to work with other improvisors not trained within their discipline. (Theatersports trained folks won't work with Improv Olympics or Spolin based Improv, and vice-versa)
On the other end of the spectrum, acting methods are split accordingly also. The average person has heard of "The Method," when it comes to acting. There just isn't ONE method per se. Almost if not all "methods" that's known is based directly and indirectly to theories on acting created by Stanislavsky. I look at the various schools and methods on acting the way I observe church and denominational splits. In a lot of ways, a new acting method created is normally the result of a split from another school of acting.
Now a new form of "Method" is taking shape. Known as "Contemporary Method," it evolves on a more eclectic approach. In addition to taking a little of Meisner and a little of Strasberg, ect, they'll add something such as "energy work, past lives," and other forms of pseudo-psychology. I would love to say that because of their eclectic nature, they have no qualms against other schools/methods, however that is normally not the case.
Why the split? Why the chasm between all the method/school/approaches to acting? All could be linked to the one common denominator: the "Guru." The acting coach/instructor/teacher ect in a lot of cases holds more power over actors than the actors should permit. Largely that is due to what belief and/or attachment the actors hold in respect to the desired results they're getting in relation to their coaching. A friend of mine who transplanted to L.A. from S.F. concluded that all her earlier acting training "sucked ass" as compared to the audition coach she currently and religiously trains with. (She also emphasize that L.A. training is far superior to S.F. training) The reason being was prior to her training w/this coach, she did not book herself in any major productions. After booking a role in a Keanu Reeves film, she's spellbound by this coach.
This is not an unusual situation. Ask any actor why they gravitate towards a particular coach or school or approach and they'll explain how much they benefited. That's all the actor wants: to be able to do the best job they can possibly do as an actor, period. If you told another actor that you booked your last major role as a result of following a coaches advice to inhale through the left nostril and exhaling through the right while delivering lines, SOMEONE will attempt that on their next audition.
Take it outside of the actor's context. If you're a single guy, and your friend who was known in the past for being incapable in meeting women suddenly shows up with multiple women on his arms, would you not inquire about the change? If you're struggling with your weight and your best friend who was overweight the majority of their life shows up lean, trim and fit, wouldn't you want to know what they did?
So Actor A and Actor B attends most of the same audition, and Actor B tends to be given the role. At other auditions Actor A notices that Actor C tends to book those roles. Actor A learns that Actors B and C are from the same acting training. Guess what the next training agenda is for Actor A. If Actor A lands a role shortly after they begin that particular training, that training becomes a new religion for Actor A until that training no longer works, and Actor A begins this cycle all over again with another form of training.
So as a student of personal development, as a former missionary, and as a working actor, I've decided to follow in the tradition of acting gurus past and present: I have created an acting training approach. What makes my training stand out is that it's open to actors and non-actors alike. All are welcomed. No one is turned away for lack of talent. Now lack of funds, different story. Payment must be made on time. Remember that once you begin your training, any positive incidents, results, or events that happened in your life was a direct result of ME and MY training!!! Because of that, anytime your family, friend, or colleague inquire about your sudden fortune of positive stuff, make sure you refer them TO ME. We (I) will grow this training to new heights. You will no longer need to goto church if you attended church. I AM your new church. I AM your new god. All good things in your life came from me and what I taught you. NOW KOWTOW!
...Happy April Fool's Day!
Yes and No.
With a lot of controversy surrounding the whole thing about Tom Cruise and his ties to the Scientologists, the average audience member watches on with certain assumptions of their favorite performers in regards their respected spirituality. Actors are an uncanny fickle bunch. I should know, I fall into the same category as most actors. If someone was to inquire about my own personal view on spirituality, I'd simply give them a generic answer: "I'm Christian." Sure, I've seen and heard a more general response such as "I'm spiritual." (What the hell does THAT really mean?)
Posting about my faith and theology is for another future time. It's difficult to really separate my beliefs versus my experiences within a religious setting, and that is a challenge that the average person wrestles with in regards to spirituality. So therefore I'm gonna attempt to build a 10 foot pole to touch the topic in the near future.
I'm not really talking about that anyways.
I observed the last ten years while pursuing, training and working on various acting productions that the actor tends to create their own sort of religious order to a lesser degree than a fanatical follower when it comes to the technique of their craft of acting. I'm not talking about fundamental craft knowledge such as voice, diction, movement/dance though people will separate themselves along the various disciplines there too. (Linklater vs Fitzmaurice vs Alexander ect) I'm referring to the various schools of techniques in regards to achieving the performance state of "being in the moment."
Since my performance background began in doing stand-up comedy, I gravitated towards the improvisational based forms of acting when I began my formal acting training. I was lucky enough to learn from someone who was versed in VARIOUS schools of improv acting, so there was no hard-core loyalty insistence. Coming from San Francisco, Theatersports and Johnstone has a heavy presence in the improvisational scene. Elsewhere in L.A., N.Y. and Chicago, Second City and more Spolin based improv dominate the scene. As ridiculous as it sounds I've come across improvisors who refused to work with other improvisors not trained within their discipline. (Theatersports trained folks won't work with Improv Olympics or Spolin based Improv, and vice-versa)
On the other end of the spectrum, acting methods are split accordingly also. The average person has heard of "The Method," when it comes to acting. There just isn't ONE method per se. Almost if not all "methods" that's known is based directly and indirectly to theories on acting created by Stanislavsky. I look at the various schools and methods on acting the way I observe church and denominational splits. In a lot of ways, a new acting method created is normally the result of a split from another school of acting.
Now a new form of "Method" is taking shape. Known as "Contemporary Method," it evolves on a more eclectic approach. In addition to taking a little of Meisner and a little of Strasberg, ect, they'll add something such as "energy work, past lives," and other forms of pseudo-psychology. I would love to say that because of their eclectic nature, they have no qualms against other schools/methods, however that is normally not the case.
Why the split? Why the chasm between all the method/school/approaches to acting? All could be linked to the one common denominator: the "Guru." The acting coach/instructor/teacher ect in a lot of cases holds more power over actors than the actors should permit. Largely that is due to what belief and/or attachment the actors hold in respect to the desired results they're getting in relation to their coaching. A friend of mine who transplanted to L.A. from S.F. concluded that all her earlier acting training "sucked ass" as compared to the audition coach she currently and religiously trains with. (She also emphasize that L.A. training is far superior to S.F. training) The reason being was prior to her training w/this coach, she did not book herself in any major productions. After booking a role in a Keanu Reeves film, she's spellbound by this coach.
This is not an unusual situation. Ask any actor why they gravitate towards a particular coach or school or approach and they'll explain how much they benefited. That's all the actor wants: to be able to do the best job they can possibly do as an actor, period. If you told another actor that you booked your last major role as a result of following a coaches advice to inhale through the left nostril and exhaling through the right while delivering lines, SOMEONE will attempt that on their next audition.
Take it outside of the actor's context. If you're a single guy, and your friend who was known in the past for being incapable in meeting women suddenly shows up with multiple women on his arms, would you not inquire about the change? If you're struggling with your weight and your best friend who was overweight the majority of their life shows up lean, trim and fit, wouldn't you want to know what they did?
So Actor A and Actor B attends most of the same audition, and Actor B tends to be given the role. At other auditions Actor A notices that Actor C tends to book those roles. Actor A learns that Actors B and C are from the same acting training. Guess what the next training agenda is for Actor A. If Actor A lands a role shortly after they begin that particular training, that training becomes a new religion for Actor A until that training no longer works, and Actor A begins this cycle all over again with another form of training.
So as a student of personal development, as a former missionary, and as a working actor, I've decided to follow in the tradition of acting gurus past and present: I have created an acting training approach. What makes my training stand out is that it's open to actors and non-actors alike. All are welcomed. No one is turned away for lack of talent. Now lack of funds, different story. Payment must be made on time. Remember that once you begin your training, any positive incidents, results, or events that happened in your life was a direct result of ME and MY training!!! Because of that, anytime your family, friend, or colleague inquire about your sudden fortune of positive stuff, make sure you refer them TO ME. We (I) will grow this training to new heights. You will no longer need to goto church if you attended church. I AM your new church. I AM your new god. All good things in your life came from me and what I taught you. NOW KOWTOW!
...Happy April Fool's Day!
Friday, June 10, 2011
Lessons From a Miracle Taken For Granted
10-July, 1997: Gengma, Yunnan China PRC
I hardly discussed my time with The Salvation Army, specifically in regards to my experience with the China Service Corps Team in 1997. On a personal level, the assignment ended on such a devastating note, I cared not to discuss the trip in details as much as my teammates. It was a lot of "firsts" for this specific program that it received much fanfare and publicity in the aftermath. I barely kept up with the post momentum.
Photos don't lie and there are a lot of photos where I'm actually smiling and having a blast during the trip. I just chose to "throw the baby out with the bath water." Following the trip, vivid images of a newborn on life support, children begging on the streets, cheating taxi drivers, and my emergency hospital visit were the events I chose to recall in details if I even bothered to mention the trip at all. Yeah I did have a choice on which events to recall. I felt more "comfy" with the neggies.
All because I didn't get laid.
Yeah I know I'm going on behalf of a Christian organization, but so what? I'm a half a world away in a foreign country for the first time in my life, and not one booty call. I was pissed at the end.
When I grew up listening to Motley Crue during my junior high years, I recalled an interview Nikki Sixx made:
"I don't want to sit at some goddam old folks home on a fucking rocking chair, turn on Vince's (Neil) hearing aide, and say, 'I wish I fucked that chick.'"
I didn't understand what Nikki meant when I initially read it in junior high, but I sure as hell understood it after my trip to China.
So I allowed regret to shadow my first experience in Asia.
I didn't focus on the preschool age children approaching me, calling me "ShuShu" ("Uncle") or the many dances with university female students, or the laughter, or the street artist who accurately, amazingly sketched a wallet-size photo of myself. No, I chose to focus on what I hated about the trip.
I'm recalling all of this now because of a lesson I'm currently reviewing. There was a quote stating that people who are focused on the problems tend to miss the miracles.
*RAISES HAND* Yup, guilty.
Our team traveled from Kunming, Yunnan China to Lincang County, down to Gengma and we were returning to Lincang. One of our teammates Ken was sick and did not make our tour of Gengma, so we had to pick him back up from Lincang. At that time (1997) the roads were not fully developed yet, and one of the main road was a paved dirt trail along a rivers edge from Lincang to Gengma. Our team even nicknamed the river as the "Milktea" river because of the resemblance to milktea.
Gengma was like one of the worse of the visit during that four days because it rained 90% of the time. The accommodations were not modernized and there were regular evening blackouts. I was in a very cranky mood and I longed to return to Lincang where the hotel was more modern.
While driving alongside the "Milktea" River (to this day I have no idea what the actual name of the river is) our bus had a flat. The driver announced that we were to empty the bus while he changes the tire. Mind you that this driver was already on my shit list as he had attempted to show us the border to Myanmar and drove so close that we ended up searched by the Myanmar border patrols with their automatic weapons pointed at us.
So we're getting soaking wet while the driver then discovers that the flat is located in the inner layer of a two layer wheel, which meant that he had to take out the outer wheel first before replacing the flat inside. At that point, I decided to occupy myself by grabbing pieces of mud, which was plentiful, and wrote "SOUR" all over the bus. If you're wondering why the word, "SOUR" it was the closest 4-letter 'S' word that I could think of off the top of my head that meant as close to the "other" 4-letter 'S' word. My teammates are annoyed at me by this point and asked me when I was going to stop my antics. I told them as soon as I'm back inside the bus I'll stop.
Finally our driver completes the tire change and we're back inside the bus. We're driving along the road when an oncoming vehicle approached us. Our driver and the other driver are conversing and it becomes gradually more escalated. I'm mumbling to myself at that point for the driver to "shut the f* up and f*king drive." Then Colonel Yee, our adviser, and our translators/escorts joins in on the conversation with the drivers and it gets more excitedly escalated. Turned out that the other vehicle was an emergency vehicle who just completed a quick makeshift preliminary cleanup/repave work on the road ahead of us. Less that 20-30 minutes prior, there was a major mudslide/avalanche on the road. Chances are, had we not had to stop and change the tire, we would've been most likely in that "Milktea" river. As we got to the cleanup slide location, we barely made it through that road as it was narrower and closer to the edge that we could see the river alongside our window. It was a literal "narrow" escape.
I didn't put much thought into that time until now. I'm going through what I thought was a "bad" situation, unaware that in the grand scheme of things, the lives of about 14 people including mine were being saved. I didn't realize how much of a close call that situation really was.
I was so focused on "SOUR," I didn't realize that a miracle was taking place for me. So as I sit here awaiting for my next miracle to happen, I take on the possibility of a miracle unfolding as I type this now. I just need to be patient, and focus on the "SWEET."
I hardly discussed my time with The Salvation Army, specifically in regards to my experience with the China Service Corps Team in 1997. On a personal level, the assignment ended on such a devastating note, I cared not to discuss the trip in details as much as my teammates. It was a lot of "firsts" for this specific program that it received much fanfare and publicity in the aftermath. I barely kept up with the post momentum.
Photos don't lie and there are a lot of photos where I'm actually smiling and having a blast during the trip. I just chose to "throw the baby out with the bath water." Following the trip, vivid images of a newborn on life support, children begging on the streets, cheating taxi drivers, and my emergency hospital visit were the events I chose to recall in details if I even bothered to mention the trip at all. Yeah I did have a choice on which events to recall. I felt more "comfy" with the neggies.
All because I didn't get laid.
Yeah I know I'm going on behalf of a Christian organization, but so what? I'm a half a world away in a foreign country for the first time in my life, and not one booty call. I was pissed at the end.
When I grew up listening to Motley Crue during my junior high years, I recalled an interview Nikki Sixx made:
"I don't want to sit at some goddam old folks home on a fucking rocking chair, turn on Vince's (Neil) hearing aide, and say, 'I wish I fucked that chick.'"
I didn't understand what Nikki meant when I initially read it in junior high, but I sure as hell understood it after my trip to China.
So I allowed regret to shadow my first experience in Asia.
I didn't focus on the preschool age children approaching me, calling me "ShuShu" ("Uncle") or the many dances with university female students, or the laughter, or the street artist who accurately, amazingly sketched a wallet-size photo of myself. No, I chose to focus on what I hated about the trip.
I'm recalling all of this now because of a lesson I'm currently reviewing. There was a quote stating that people who are focused on the problems tend to miss the miracles.
*RAISES HAND* Yup, guilty.
Our team traveled from Kunming, Yunnan China to Lincang County, down to Gengma and we were returning to Lincang. One of our teammates Ken was sick and did not make our tour of Gengma, so we had to pick him back up from Lincang. At that time (1997) the roads were not fully developed yet, and one of the main road was a paved dirt trail along a rivers edge from Lincang to Gengma. Our team even nicknamed the river as the "Milktea" river because of the resemblance to milktea.
Gengma was like one of the worse of the visit during that four days because it rained 90% of the time. The accommodations were not modernized and there were regular evening blackouts. I was in a very cranky mood and I longed to return to Lincang where the hotel was more modern.
While driving alongside the "Milktea" River (to this day I have no idea what the actual name of the river is) our bus had a flat. The driver announced that we were to empty the bus while he changes the tire. Mind you that this driver was already on my shit list as he had attempted to show us the border to Myanmar and drove so close that we ended up searched by the Myanmar border patrols with their automatic weapons pointed at us.
So we're getting soaking wet while the driver then discovers that the flat is located in the inner layer of a two layer wheel, which meant that he had to take out the outer wheel first before replacing the flat inside. At that point, I decided to occupy myself by grabbing pieces of mud, which was plentiful, and wrote "SOUR" all over the bus. If you're wondering why the word, "SOUR" it was the closest 4-letter 'S' word that I could think of off the top of my head that meant as close to the "other" 4-letter 'S' word. My teammates are annoyed at me by this point and asked me when I was going to stop my antics. I told them as soon as I'm back inside the bus I'll stop.
Finally our driver completes the tire change and we're back inside the bus. We're driving along the road when an oncoming vehicle approached us. Our driver and the other driver are conversing and it becomes gradually more escalated. I'm mumbling to myself at that point for the driver to "shut the f* up and f*king drive." Then Colonel Yee, our adviser, and our translators/escorts joins in on the conversation with the drivers and it gets more excitedly escalated. Turned out that the other vehicle was an emergency vehicle who just completed a quick makeshift preliminary cleanup/repave work on the road ahead of us. Less that 20-30 minutes prior, there was a major mudslide/avalanche on the road. Chances are, had we not had to stop and change the tire, we would've been most likely in that "Milktea" river. As we got to the cleanup slide location, we barely made it through that road as it was narrower and closer to the edge that we could see the river alongside our window. It was a literal "narrow" escape.
I didn't put much thought into that time until now. I'm going through what I thought was a "bad" situation, unaware that in the grand scheme of things, the lives of about 14 people including mine were being saved. I didn't realize how much of a close call that situation really was.
I was so focused on "SOUR," I didn't realize that a miracle was taking place for me. So as I sit here awaiting for my next miracle to happen, I take on the possibility of a miracle unfolding as I type this now. I just need to be patient, and focus on the "SWEET."
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Just Visiting
I don't know how important it is to have an actual membership and actually take advantage of the privilege that's attached to a membership. I'm very aware that to qualify to enter the business class waiting lounge one must purchase a ticket. I know that for every place with or without membership, there's always a "doorkeeper" who guards against people who supposedly "don't belong." We've heard the slogan, "membership has its privilege," and for the most part people buy into it. I myself buy into it. Let's face it, there are places out there where being a member is something I'd rather not be.
I maybe dating myself, but there used to be a brand name for jackets called Members Only. It was an earlier thin bomber style jacket with this special sort of extra straps on the shoulder. Now for those who were able to afford such a brand name jacket, they were enjoying a social "membership status" within the community. In my case, that community was junior high school elite. In those days, there were different imitators of that style of jackets. Compass Point was one of the other imitation brands. Now the hierarchy in school was for those who wore the actual MO jackets. If you had a CP jacket, that was acceptable as long as 1) you were considered by the elite as "cute," 2) you wore other brand name attire with logos of a triangle, a polo player, or alligator.
Unfortunately, I only possessed a Compass Point jacket.
I was not considered a "member" in junior high. It was challenging when other friends of yours were benefiting from "membership privileges," and then there's the strain of dealing with them as well as them dealing with you. So at an early age, I learned the PERCEIVED dynamics of "membership," "membership privileges," "door keeper," "belonging," and "not belonging."
Noticed I said "PERCEIVED?"
The perception of "members only" (not the brand name) is artificially constructed by humanity. Ever talk to some "guru" or someone considered "spiritual?" They always talk about being a "member of the human race." And people react as if they heard it for the first time. As corny as it sounds, there is SOME truth to what they are saying. The point they attempted to make was that "membership" is artificially created. Do we really need a membership to drink water, eat food, find love? No we don't. However we create organizations and things with membership requirements that leaves us with the impression that without membership, we may not be able to eat, drink, and love.
For the first time in my life, I attended a Toastmasters meeting. All this time in the public eye and my pursuit of personal growth, I never attended a Toastmasters meeting. I looked at the site in advance to get the information on the date, location, and agenda. I came to the meeting with the mindset that I'm there as a "visiting guest" as oppose to a "member." I left as a "guest." What surprised me was that even as a "visiting guest," (non-member) there were privileges attached. It was the first time I came upon a situation that even not having membership "has its privileges." I had barely sat down for 30 seconds when the forum person invited the "guest" to present a "table" speech in front of the group. The premise of the table speech is to speak for 2-3 minutes after grabbing an item from the bag. I grabbed scotch tape. I talked about "sticking together" as a community. Not bad for something on the fly. At the conclusion of the meeting, I received the "Table Award." I was dumbfounded because I was "not a member" of the group. I did not feel worthy of the honor because I was "not a member." The head of the meeting insisted that it didn't matter, and until I decide to become a member, I was more than welcomed to attend their meetings as a guest.
If only junior high were as opened as Toastmasters...
I maybe dating myself, but there used to be a brand name for jackets called Members Only. It was an earlier thin bomber style jacket with this special sort of extra straps on the shoulder. Now for those who were able to afford such a brand name jacket, they were enjoying a social "membership status" within the community. In my case, that community was junior high school elite. In those days, there were different imitators of that style of jackets. Compass Point was one of the other imitation brands. Now the hierarchy in school was for those who wore the actual MO jackets. If you had a CP jacket, that was acceptable as long as 1) you were considered by the elite as "cute," 2) you wore other brand name attire with logos of a triangle, a polo player, or alligator.
Unfortunately, I only possessed a Compass Point jacket.
I was not considered a "member" in junior high. It was challenging when other friends of yours were benefiting from "membership privileges," and then there's the strain of dealing with them as well as them dealing with you. So at an early age, I learned the PERCEIVED dynamics of "membership," "membership privileges," "door keeper," "belonging," and "not belonging."
Noticed I said "PERCEIVED?"
The perception of "members only" (not the brand name) is artificially constructed by humanity. Ever talk to some "guru" or someone considered "spiritual?" They always talk about being a "member of the human race." And people react as if they heard it for the first time. As corny as it sounds, there is SOME truth to what they are saying. The point they attempted to make was that "membership" is artificially created. Do we really need a membership to drink water, eat food, find love? No we don't. However we create organizations and things with membership requirements that leaves us with the impression that without membership, we may not be able to eat, drink, and love.
For the first time in my life, I attended a Toastmasters meeting. All this time in the public eye and my pursuit of personal growth, I never attended a Toastmasters meeting. I looked at the site in advance to get the information on the date, location, and agenda. I came to the meeting with the mindset that I'm there as a "visiting guest" as oppose to a "member." I left as a "guest." What surprised me was that even as a "visiting guest," (non-member) there were privileges attached. It was the first time I came upon a situation that even not having membership "has its privileges." I had barely sat down for 30 seconds when the forum person invited the "guest" to present a "table" speech in front of the group. The premise of the table speech is to speak for 2-3 minutes after grabbing an item from the bag. I grabbed scotch tape. I talked about "sticking together" as a community. Not bad for something on the fly. At the conclusion of the meeting, I received the "Table Award." I was dumbfounded because I was "not a member" of the group. I did not feel worthy of the honor because I was "not a member." The head of the meeting insisted that it didn't matter, and until I decide to become a member, I was more than welcomed to attend their meetings as a guest.
If only junior high were as opened as Toastmasters...
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